Is it fair to have expectations of your ex?
Cyn Santana believes it is, and it caused her a whole lot of stress and sadness in Monday night’s episode of Love and Hip Hop New York.
During the episode, Cyn was told by her BFF Jonathan Fernandez and Juju C. that they found out her ex, Erica Mena, had been playing cupid for Tahiry Jose and Cyn’s ex-fiancée, Joe Budden. Though she and Joe were only co-parenting at the time and could barely have a productive, healthy conversation about the issues that caused their relationship to fail, she wasn’t too happy about this information.
“Joe is a grown man. Whoever he gon’ love, he gon’ be with,” she said. “I’m just hurt and I’m like appalled at Erica. We loved and cared for each other once upon a time. But all of a sudden, Cyn and Joe are no longer together and Erica is so invested in putting him back with his ex.”
Then it was clear she wasn’t too happy at all, including with Tahiry for some reason.
“Don’t get me started with the ex. She literally been in my shoes before and this is what we doing? Have a blast,” she said. “Keep y’all f–k sh-t over there, far away from me, because I have other things to focus on, like my music and my son.”
And as the episode went on, the hurt feelings about the moves of her ex(es) became more and more apparent. Cyn asked Joe to meet up with her during a studio session she was having to figure out the truth behind what she was told. She made it clear to him that she wasn’t “the one to f–k with.” Joe told her, in the flat way that he does, that he and Tahiry had dialogue again because they were both invited to Erica and Safaree’s wedding, but that was about it. From there, Cyn wanted to confirm that “You don’t want to do anything that might hurt me, that might make me feel a way, that might affect me. That 1999 sh-t, that’s got to stay right where the f–k it’s at.”
She asked him to “respect me,” and Joe seemed understanding of her concerns, which was polite of him considering they’re not together. I get it though. Being sensitive to each other’s feelings keeps things copacetic for the sake of their son.
But that same understanding wouldn’t be shared between Cyn and her other ex, Erica Mena. When the two finally met up, using a meeting with Jonathan as the way in, Erica barely addressed Cyn. And when Cyn sought clarity about Erica’s motives, her ex didn’t seem to care. She felt that both Joe and Tahiry are single, their chemistry and history is strong, and they are often around each other because of she and Safaree, so why not?
Cyn, however, questioned why, as a pregnant woman and mother, she wouldn’t think about how messy she could be making things between Cyn and Joe. Erica made it clear she doesn’t think about Cyn because she has no reason to.
“Honestly, I don’t clock you, your relationship. The last thing I’m thinking about is anybody from my past,” she said. “I don’t stop and be like, what’s Cyn feeling? I don’t move like that.”
While Cyn got what she needed from her chat with Joe, Erica had nothing for her, which reduced her to tears.
“What’s the problem? You’ve even been bragging about how happy you’ve been since you guys broke up,” Erica said in her confessional. “You’re acting like I’m supposed to have your back, which is like a joke.”
But Cyn didn’t appreciate any of it, feeling as though Erica is just trying to be messy.
“I don’t want to hear ‘Oh, I didn’t even think like that. Joe is single. He’s single now!’ Who’s he single from, sis? Cyn motherf–king Santana,” she said. “We all know that. We were in a very public relationship.”
Now, could Erica’s intentions have been anything but pure? Possibly. If she and Safaree split up and, say, Rich Dollaz was trying to hook him back up with Nicki Minaj, she would probably call it some clown sh-t. Nevertheless, if we rewind the tape to the day when Tahiry and Joe were reunited at Erica and Safaree’s little house party, she didn’t seem all that determined to put them together. She literally just reminded them that they were both single with glee in her voice and then left them to talk. Encouraging people who were cute in the past to be cute again in the future doesn’t feel all that puppet master-ish to me.
And let’s be real. Cyn is expecting a lot from people who don’t have to give her as much as she thinks. It is true that Cyn said she needed to leave Joe to be her happiest and healthiest, which we could all understand and respect. But now that he’s able to entertain other women since they’re no longer together, it’s odd that she would think she could have some say in who those women could be, and think Joe would make moves with her firmly in mind. I get wanting to keep the peace to co-parent, but she’s asking for a lot.
She’s asking for even more from Erica, someone she hasn’t been with in years, whom she doesn’t have even a cordial relationship with. Why she thought Erica would keep her in mind is confusing. But then again, if last season’s blowup with Cyn, Joe and Safaree over Safaree bringing Erica on their group trip showed us anything, it’s that Cyn believes she needs to be in the know of where her exes are and whom they link up with out of respect to her. While we would all probably appreciate that insight and access, it’s not something we’re owed. All that being said, Cyn, let it go, sis.
See reactions to the drama between Cyn, Joe, Tahiry and Erica via Twitter by hitting the flip: