Maybe I’m just officially “old” because I honestly don’t understand what millennials are doing in their sex lives or why they’re doing it. I went into a sex shop to buy a G-string recently—that’s it, just a G-string, like the ones strippers wear, because that’s what my partner is into—and I was astonished by what they’re selling in there these days. I looked about as baffled as I do when I walk around an electronics store and I needed just as much help from the customer service staff understanding what everything was.
When did sex become so complicated? When did people start openly wearing chokers with chains attached and having their dominatrix lead them around the grocery store? (I bring this up because I’ve seen it). You know what’s exciting to my partner and I? Doing it on a surface other than the bed. Maybe I just don’t have a kinky side, but, perhaps someone out there can answer this for me: does being kinky have to mean enjoying choking and being handcuffed in dungeons? It seems like the ceiling for kinkiness keeps getting higher. It seems like the sexual acts that were very hush-hush in my twenties are the new normal.
I remember in my twenties, going to a club I’d been to many times, but on a night I’d never been. I didn’t know that that night was sex dungeon night. My friends and I covered our eyes and mouths, so embarrassed and stunned. We couldn’t believe what we were looking at. And what I can tell you now is that that stuff isn’t reserved to closed-door, private events anymore. People are bringing that stuff to their home bedrooms. People are building sex dungeons in their four-bedroom, suburban homes. It’s a lot. And sometimes, it’s a bit scary. But, as we know, the current sexual norms are often a reflection of the current emotional state of society. It’s a reflection of what’s happening to us as people. Here is my theory on why sex has become so fringe.
We’re having sex with more strangers
People are having sex with far more strangers. How many hookup apps are there now? Where people can even choose a setting on their profile notifying others that they’re just there for sex. Where people don’t even exchange their real names. Where people meet up with the understanding that they won’t even speak, but they’ll just get immediately down to business. We’ve started treating each other as sex dolls.