Everyone struggles with some degree of negative self-talk. Well, correction: we probably all know someone who appears to never struggle with self-talk. That is called an egomaniac or a narcissist. Negative self-talk is, in a way, one element of a healthy mindset. We have to have some checks and balances in our mind. We have to remain humble, honest, and realistic. But, like I said, it is only part of a healthy mindset. Modesty and rationale should temper things like delusions and unrealistic high hopes. But, when those two come together, you should land at a healthy medium, in which you believe you can do good things, you have confidence in your abilities, but you are also prepared for setbacks, and aware that things will not always go your way. Unfortunately, some individuals only manifest the negative self-talk. The positive self-talk is not there to balance things out. Some individuals only think of the reasons they won’t succeed, and they can’t imagine the positive side of things. They have no thoughts to lift them out of that place. That is no way to live. In fact, you won’t fully live if you only engage in negative self-talk. I understand that nobody wants to be an egomaniac. Sometimes, the fear of that can leave someone stuck in the negative self-talk place. But then they don’t take risks. They don’t pursue goals. They don’t treat themselves as someone who is worthy of great things. Negative self talk when used as a form of monitoring expectations is fine. But it should be combined with positive self-talk. Do you only have negative self-talk? And is it ruining your life?
A fight is a breakup
When you get into an argument with a significant other, you start to think things like, “I am destined to be alone forever. I am broken. I am in capable of carrying on a healthy relationship. I don’t have the tools to fix this. I may as well end things because the end is inevitable.” You believe relationship fights happen to you because you aren’t good at relationships.