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For Stress Awareness Month, we could probably all take a moment to check in with our stress levels. How are you feeling? If you had to answer, in a second, this question, “Do you feel stressed or do you feel relaxed?” what would your impulse answer be? Sometimes we don’t even realize we are stressed out until somebody points it out or asks us if we are. Sometimes, seeing someone who is clearly not stressed out makes the fact that you’re a ball of stress undeniable. You know you’re so far, mentally and emotionally, from the state of that relaxed individual. We live in a society that tells us that stress is normal, and that we should just accept it as a daily (if not hourly) sensation. But you shouldn’t live with stress every day. You shouldn’t embrace it, as if there’s nothing you can do about it, because it will lead to all sorts of issues—including medical ones. Here are signs you’ve mismanaged your stress, and what to do about it.
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Your words are cynical
Put a tape recorder in your pocket and let it run for a day. At the end of that 24-hour period, play the tape back. Listen to the types of words you use. Do you notice patterns? Perhaps you swear a lot. Perhaps you call others bad names and words often. Perhaps you make exclamatory statements about life and people that are dark and negative. Sometimes we don’t realize how we sound, until we record ourselves.
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Your cynicism scares those around you
Even if you can’t tape record yourself for a day, look at the faces on those around you when you speak. Do people pull back? Do people look frightened? Concerned? If they look those ways more than they look happy, light-hearted, and at ease around you, your stress is likely splashing onto those around you through your negative words.
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You’ve quit things abruptly
You’ve recently walked away from tasks, projects, and jobs abruptly and on bad terms. When you’ve taken on too much in life, something’s gotta give. Your stress bubble will burst, and you’ll just quit something on the spot, over seemingly nothing.
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You’re in several fights
You’re currently in several fights. These could be with friends, colleagues, family, or neighbors. But the truth is you are on decidedly bad terms with a few individuals. Your stress has probably caused you to lose patience and misbehave in those relationships, causing an uptick in disputes.
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You find yourself short on breath
Sometimes, you feel short of breath, dizzy, and generally weak out of nowhere. When we are under a lot of unconscious stress, we don’t take as deep of breathes and we clench the muscles in our bodies, which can leave us feeling dizzy and weak.
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Your driving has become reckless
You’ve gotten many traffic tickets recently, or done many things that should have earned you tickets. You feel unhinged on the road, and get too close to multiple accidents a day. Your stress is finding its way into your driving habits.
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Loved ones need a break from you
Friends and family who’d normally accept your invitations to hang out—or your phone calls—have been politely declining. If they’re in a good place, they probably don’t want to be around your frantic energy.
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Your body is showing it
You’ve gained or lost weight. Your skin looks discolored and sickly. You have bags under your eyes. Your body feels stiff. You’ve been dealing with digestive issues. Your body won’t hide stress for long.
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Now, how to manage it
Now it’s time to talk about how to address your mismanaged stress. The first thing you must do is take stress seriously. Just because it doesn’t show immediate symptoms like the flu or a chronic illness doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Recognize stress as a serious force to be reckoned with. You haven’t been taking it seriously, so it’s been taking you down.
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Know it doesn’t make you weak
Also, do not think you are weak or less-than others because you suffer stress, or decide to do something about your stress. Everybody suffers from stress. Even people who appear to be calm all of the time face stress: they’ve just found coping mechanisms that you haven’t. But stress is part of the human condition, and even the strongest people in the world suffer it. Know that.
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Meditate several times a day
It’s time for you to start meditating several times a day. Once you feel better, you can pull that back to once a day. But, for now, consider yourself in a critical state: you need to treat yourself with quiet time, deep breathing, and mantras frequently. Eventually, you can phase into a maintenance phase, meditating less frequently. You can’t afford to make excuses not to meditate anymore.
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Do less every day
Spread tasks out throughout the week. Don’t do today what you can do tomorrow. You’re probably used to squeezing in as much as you can each day. Stop that. Give each task plenty of time. That will mean doing fewer things, each day. The very act of rushing increases stress levels in the body.
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Express your state to others
Tell everyone in your life that you’re currently under a lot of stress and cannot take on any more tasks or projects. Express to them that they are only to come to you for help if it is truly an emergency and nobody else can help them.
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Quarantine alone time
I use the word “Quarantine” because sometimes it will feel like you need an army standing around your apartment or bedroom to keep stress out. But don’t let anyone mess with your alone time. And recognize that there’s a difference between having drinks with friends and alone time. True alone time alleviates stress.
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Ask if the task brings you joy
Before taking on anything else, ask yourself if the task will bring you joy. You don’t always have the luxury of asking yourself that, but if you’re under severe stress, you must ask yourself that. Don’t do things you don’t have to do unless they will directly combat your stress.
