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always dwelling on the past

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There are few traits I find more obnoxious in someone than a tendency to dwell on the past. I have several friends I’ve had to keep my distance from, all because I couldn’t stand constantly listening to them lament about the way things could have been or how their lives would have shaken out if only they’d done this one thing differently. What do they want me to say? “Okay, let’s get in my time machine and go back and change things”? Or, perhaps, should I say, “You’re right. Your life sucks forever now because of that thing you couldn’t control or that one mistake.” The whole conversation is painfully broody, and last time I checked, brooding was for teenagers. I learn from my past. I’m grateful for my past. But I don’t dwell in my past. Here are the dangers of dwelling on the past.

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Your current relations feel taken for granted

Let’s say you dwell, for example, on your marriage that didn’t work out, even though you’re already re-married. Even if you don’t want to be back with your ex, you still often obsess about the fact that it was so tragic to go through a divorce and poor you for experiencing it. How do you think that makes your current partner feel?

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