I remember one night, years ago, my boyfriend and I were on a double date and the other guy alluded to masturbating recently. Suddenly, his wife got this scowl on her face and excused herself to the restroom. Her husband followed her. They clearly fought about something, and things were tense the rest of the night. Later my boyfriend told me that his buddy had made a promise to his wife to stop masturbating. Whaaat? At the time, I thought that that woman was—to be quite frank—controlling and uptight. Who cares if their man helps himself from time to time? Every man has been doing it since long before he met his partner. Are we all just expected to quit some of our favorite pastimes, just because we’re in relationships? But today, I feel a little guilty for judging that woman. I have a partner who likes to help himself often and, it actually can affect our relationship. To men in relationships, here’s why you should masturbate less.
More interest in sex
The more men help themselves, the less they feel like even having sex. The drive just isn’t there if they already ejaculated all on their own. So that can be bad for a couple’s sex life, and leave the woman feeling undesirable.
XXX films are over-stimulating
We all know there is certain content men watch when they help themselves. The issue with most of this content is that it is usually way unrealistic and involves scenarios and acts so extreme that “normal” sex can become boring to a man. That’s not great for his relationship, either.
In the beginning of our relationship when we had sex all of the time, my partner had great erections. Once sex tapered off, and he started helping himself to tide himself over between sex, I noticed his erections started to, um, lack luster. That’s because he’d been wearing his penis out during masturbation.
It can cause jealousy
Even though masturbation is obviously not cheating, if a man does it a lot, it can provoke jealousy in his partner. He is getting his socks off to some other woman—she’s just on a computer screen.
It can cause distance
When my guy goes through phases of doing that a lot, I personally feel distant from him. Anything we could do together that he chooses to do on his own leaves me feeling left out.
You may need to hoard your sperm
Don’t forget that if you and your partner are trying to conceive, that masturbating often may reduce your chances. You need to hold onto that sperm for the real games.
You’re messing up the towels
For real, though. My boyfriend didn’t buy a towel specifically for his, um, cleanup and I’m guessing yours didn’t either. That leaves these men grasping for whatever cloth or t-shirt is nearby and sometimes it’s our face towels dammit.
If you do it, she’ll do it
Don’t forget fellas that if you’re doing that more and getting less interested in sex, then your partner will masturbate more, too. That will compound the lack-of-sex issue. What? Did you expect her to abstain?
Master the game of lasting
While it’s true that some masturbation can help a man last longer in bed, overdoing it can make a man last too long in bed. If a man has already ejaculated several times that week, he just won’t be very sensitive down there. He may last so long it leaves his partner thinking, “Do I just not do it for him?”
You’re using all our lotion
I mean honestly can you leave a little hand lotion for us? I’m tired of going to pump some moisturizer on my chapped hands to find it’s all gone. I try to hide my lotion stash but somehow, he finds it.
It makes condoms harder to use
If you’re about to quit condoms then this doesn’t apply to you, but if you do use condoms in your relationship, then masturbating often can make things really tough. Condoms already diminish your sensitivity, but over-masturbating will further diminish sensitivity. Essentially, you may just not feel much during intercourse.
You imagine someone else
Men who help themselves often are bound to have a lot of images of other women from adult films swirling around inside their heads—images that pop up during sex with their partners. That’s not fair to your partner.
You’re acting sketchy
A lot of men won’t admit to their partner when they’re going to masturbate, so they make something up, seem totally sketchy (because they’re bad liars), and make their partners suspicious that they’re doing something worse than masturbating.
You’re welcoming viruses onto your computer
Most adult content sites will send some nasty viruses into your computer. If you share a computer with your partner, then that’s just unfair.
You’re diminishing her handies
If a man gives himself handies all of the time, then his partner’s just won’t seem as good. Nobody gives a man a better hand job than himself, but he shouldn’t make it so he can’t even appreciate a woman’s work.