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not using condoms in a relationship

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Are you and your partner thinking about finally transitioning away from condoms? If you’ve been together for a long time, know you’re both clean, and have another reliable form of birth control, then it may be time. A lot of couples feel like condoms get in the way of intimacy and some just don’t think they feel good. Remembering to keep rubbers in stock is also a pain—not to mention pricey. Condoms are, of course, the only form of birth control that can prevent sexually transmitted diseases. All other forms only prevent pregnancy, so it’s very important that you both have up-to-date tests before quitting condoms. But, like I said, if you’re in a committed, long-term relationship, you may find yourself grabbing that crinkly little packet before sex and asking, “Why are we still using these?” If you do transition off condoms, just be ready for these changes.


It’s far more intimate

Not using condoms is very intimate—almost shockingly so. Maybe you’ve gone condom-less in the past with partners you didn’t care much about, but doing so with someone you love is a whole new level of closeness.


A STD-free re-check

That delicate conversation about STDs can crop back up. You said you were both clean years ago when you started dating but, you were still using condoms, so you weren’t as worried. Now you’re really going to expose yourselves to whatever the other person has or doesn’t have. So you may ask for new proof that the other person is clean.


You need to stay on top of your pill

If you’re on the pill, you realize you can’t mess around with the times you take it. You used to take it within a three-hour window each day. Now you’re setting alarms and making sure to take it at the exact same minute each day.


He’ll take some agency in your pill

Your partner will take a sudden interest in your birth control. How effective is it? How does it work? Are you taking it properly? He does not want you to get pregnant.


He may still hesitate to finish inside you

Even if you’re taking the pill, and taking it on time each day, your partner may still be hesitant to finish inside of you. Not having the insurance of a condom can be frightening for a guy.


So he pulls out too quickly

Since your partner is hesitant to finish inside of you, he may pull out early—too early—for fear of doing so. In other words, he may pull out so early that you were nowhere near finished.


He may finish quickly, at first

This experience can be similar to losing his virginity, for your partner. His penis will be incredibly sensitive and not used to so many sensations. In other words, he may finish fast—like really fast.


That last point could make him insecure

Some guys can be insecure about how quickly they finish without condoms. Just assure your partner that it’s normal, and with enough practice, he’ll build up the ability to last again.


He should get you nearly there first

Because of that last point, it’s a good idea if—at least until your partner becomes more comfortable with everything—your partner is generous with foreplay. You should be nearly there by the time intercourse happens since he may finish quickly.


He may want to do it more

If your partner didn’t have the highest sex drive before, that might change now. Perhaps condoms just didn’t feel great for him, but doing it without condoms opens up a whole new world for him.


More positions work

Since condoms can desensitize a penis, it’s possible that in the past, your partner required very specific positions in order to finish. Now that things are so sensitive, most positions work just fine.


There’s more laundry

Eerrrr, yeah. That’s one unfortunate thing. You’re going to have to clean your sheets more often if you don’t want them becoming nasty.


No more worrying about having condoms

It’s a huge relief to no longer worry about having condoms. You don’t need to make sure to buy more before the last box runs out or stand in line at the pharmacy, feeling a little embarrassed.


Or hiding condoms

You also don’t need to be conscious of guests coming over and seeing used condoms in the trashcan. You don’t need to worry about your curious dog getting into said trashcan.


Have some lube

Remember that condoms tend to have lubricant on them. When you stop using condoms, you may need to add lubricant to your bedroom routine or you may find yourself dry. Make sure to study up on the stuff before choosing your brand.

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