All Articles Tagged "social media"
Tayja Jones wasn’t going to go to her junior prom. The 17-year-old hadn’t planned on it but was persuaded by those close to her to attend. So she did. She got all dolled up, put on a sparkly dress, got her hair and makeup done and stepped out looking and feeling like a million bucks. “I felt good, and I was happy,” Jones told the local Fox affiliate in Philadelphia.
After having a great time with her friends at prom, she posted a picture of herself on social media smiling and called it a night. The next morning, the confidence she exuded on her big night deflated substantially. Her photo had gone viral. But not for the reasons a young person would hope for.
Somehow the image spread and people were attacking her looks.
“People I didn’t know were just like, ‘That dress is not for her. She looked like a fat something’…it was just really hurtful. I was so confident the day before, and it just changed my view of myself.”
Thankfully, the teen was eventually showered with positive messages from people far and wide who wanted her to know she looked and is beautiful. That includes singer Kelly Rowland.
Tayja Jones you are beautiful and fabulous doll! ❤️ pic.twitter.com/M7m2amAFkI
— KELENDRIA ROWLAND (@KELLYROWLAND) May 3, 2016
With the help of all those people, Jones was able to think positive. But she does admit that her self-esteem has been shaken to its core.
As I read Jones’s story, I couldn’t help but be sad. When we were growing up, we all had people who said disrespectful things to us, and maybe some of us were bullied by our classmates. However, those individuals were people who knew us, in some way. Whether they had classes with us, were involved in similar extracurricular activities, or just knew us from moving around the school. They were haters who didn’t want to see us shine. It was hurtful, but you got over it.
These days, complete strangers who don’t know you from Adam will make it almost a sport to tear folks down. They know nothing about your story, your state of mind, obstacles you’ve had to overcome, but for entertainment, will steal your image, pass it around and berate you. And for what? The snaggletooth grown man who decided to demean Jones made it very clear in an Instagram video that “I don’t give a f–k about that little a– girl and her f–king prom.” He just wanted to share the hateful opinion that her friends and family lied to her when they said she looked cute and let her leave the house for the night. He said all of this while dressed in a zip-front sweater, a plaid button-down shirt, pronouncing “looked” as “lookded”:
A video posted by Baller Alert (@balleralert) on
Clearly life hasn’t been too kind to him…
Jones is a bigger girl, yes. And so what? What can we do to change that? What can she do, on her prom night, to change that? Absolutely nothing. And yet, it took nothing for people to speak ill of her on the most magical evening of her young life, despite the fact that she’s not just someone’s child, but an actual child.
And this is what scares me. All the power complete strangers have over the way we see ourselves, specifically over the way our young people see themselves. People who have nothing going on in their lives use social media, which is supposed to have so many positive advantages, to be as ugly as possible, even to children. And it’s especially scary because so many young people put themselves out there on social media in the attempt to find individuals who will boost their self-confidence and amp up their ego, which they’re too young to have fully formed. The confidence we should be building and maintaining within them they are seeking from other people. And to make matters worse, they have their self-esteem broken by people who’ve never had a conversation with them and couldn’t give a damn about who they are and what they have to offer the world.
Behind computers and phones, many of today’s young people lose sight of reality. That’s why my niece, who is just an everyday college student, has thousands of followers on social media. She takes pictures in sports bras and tight dresses, showing off a faux confidence that would blow your mind but barely likes to make conversation with when you’re face-to-face because she’s so shy. It’s why my nephew’s social media friends beg one another to post their pictures so they can accrue more followers, even though when I sat with him during a recent visit home, in a quiet voice while staring forward (he was too shy to look me in my face) only had a handful of friends in real life. It’s why Jones told reporters she was so confident during prom, but attacks on her body “just changed my view of myself.”
I can’t imagine what any of this is like because social media was a whole lot of nothing when I was growing up. The only comments I ever heard about my prom pictures came from friends and family I showed them to, people who had nothing but love for me. But today’s kids only know how to share, share, share, and unfortunately, they don’t realize that they’re sharing so much of their vulnerable selves, and in turn, feeding themselves to the sharks.
I have always maintained that technology marches us forward and backward at the same time. We gain some benefits, but we lose something too. How many phone numbers do you have memorized these days? It is rapidly becoming apparent that people are leaning more and more to losing their humanity as we becoming more inundated with tech.
A bold father decided to teach his 17-year old son a lesson in an apparent act of “old school discipline” with a “new school” tech twist. The son left school without telling his father, which was a direct order if the boy was to leave. This infraction resulted in a bloodied nose. The video has now gone viral resulting in millions of views on Facebook alone.
The dad says in the video, “Granted, I know teachers can be f***ed up so I let him know he can walk out of class, but call me so I’m on your side,” the father tells the camera. ” All day went by, he didn’t call. So now it’s discipline time.”
The father finishes talking and calls the boy out. First, the son puts on his loves and then the dad put son his. They box. At first, it seems somewhat innocent, but then the son begins to bleed heavily from blows to the nose. The dad continues to pummel the son.
At the end of the video, the son is forced to apologize to his teacher for walking out of class and dad ominously says the next “report card better be golden.” Lesson learned?
The comments on this story were not one-sided but any stretch of the imagination. Some folks felt it was flat-out child abuse, while others thought the boy’s treatment was a sadly needed mixture of discipline and humiliation.
One of my friends, Lee Hawkins made a compelling indictment of the father.
Hawkins commented: “People don’t see this as “violence” but if this same method were used against or dog or a woman they would be coming for this man’s head. He would be all over the national news. But when it’s used against a small black male it is applauded! This young man has less value than a dog in the eyes of millions of people. And if a woman is beaten like this it is ‘domestic violence’ but if a child is beaten like this it is seen as ‘love’. Sad as hell! We can be better, but we have to do better. First step in that process is to go through self-examination and rid ourselves of the slave mentality. And to stop expecting the police to show our young people respect if we can’t show them respect ourselves. This was 10 times worse than the police officer who slammed the little black girl at the pool party. But we wanted him to lose his job and applauded this minstrel for beating this little boy. So counterintuitive and, as I say, ‘ignant.’ Just sayin’. smile emoticon.”
One woman fiercely advocated for the actions of the father. “Come beat mine and talk to them for me please. These lil fellas of mine is more than a hand full, “Latrese said. “My beatings don’t work.” Later, she would expound saying that beatings were reserved to let kids know that the child made a more serious mistake.
Personally, I can find no place in my heart to justify the action by this father. To me, it was brutal to watch. Couple that with the millions and and millions of people that will bear witness to the sons embarrassment, it is just wrong across the board. I understand everything about where Black boys are these days, down to the pathetic rate of high school graduation and black-on-black crime. Did I mention my dad “jacked me up” once? It was nothing like this and he wasn’t proudly parading his actions for the world to see. There must be a better way.
Whenever I thought about being a mother, the teenage years were never what I pictured. On the rare occasion I day dreamed about kids it was always as the cute baby or young child. I don’t think it ever occurred to me that those same baby would become a teenager. Now it’s the 21st century and I am the mother of a teenage girl. As if the term teenager isn’t frightening enough along with raging hormones and junior high/middle school relationships I now have to contend with a myriad of distractions and influences that my parents, and theirs before them, never had to consider. Screen time, cell phone usage, eating habits, grades, and cyber bullies, BOYS, and… the rise of the ratchet girl.
Coming up in the 90’s “hoodrats & hoochie mama’s” were all we heard about in the prevalent gangster rap & that was slowly taking over the airwaves and we thought it was all so cool thanks to movies like Boyz N the Hood, Menace II Society, Above The Rim and several others of the same variety. But at the end of the day, we went home and turned on The Cosby Show and A Different World so while the images were there, they weren’t as pervasive as they are now, nor was the message. But then the birth of the million dollar video came about as did the ‘video chick’ caricature and the further exploitation of black women and their sexuality was laid bare for the entire world to admire, admonish, debate over and imitate.
But the rise of the ratchet girl has been stratospheric in the last year and to be honest, I’m sick of it.
It’s not just the images shown in the media, it’s also the clothing sold in stores and how it’s styled on mannequins over sexualizing girls from an early age, and in magazine articles aimed at ‘how to get your crush to notice you’ and ‘are you kissable?’ (Seriously who’s approving this for tweens?) . It’s also shows like Love & Hip-Hop whatever, Teen Mom and the list goes on.
Portraying these women and their lifestyle as some type of aspiration and allowing them to gain celebrity notoriety because of their bad behavior on television and in the media sends a message to young women that the more you act out the more you’re rewarded by society.
And this mama don’t play that. I’m not raising a teenager to be the baddest b*tch. I’m intent on raising a young woman who will grow into a queen that’s going set the world on fire. It also sets the standard that they need to be overly dramatic to be considered interesting or to get their point across which couldn’t be farther from the truth.
So how do I maintain an active presence in her mind without being overbearing? And how do I keep my daughter from becoming enthralled by the ratchet girl lifestyle she sees all around her?
While we’re still new to the teenage game we’ve got a few rules that we govern our house by to keep her on the right path and keep the ratchet from taking over. Here are a few:
- Teach her she is more than her body but she is also not limited by it. This includes her hair and what she wears. When your mom writes about fashion for a living you get a little leeway in the clothing and hair department, but I still have rules and have no problem enforcing them. This also includes keeping the lines of communication about sexuality and those awkward topics open for discussion and consideration.
- Monitor her social media access as well as phone and apps. It may sound like spying but I’d rather not be caught unawares if anything happens. Just because she has access to social media does not mean she gets to be “out there.” It is private, monitored and limited so we feel pretty good about this one.
- Parent like its 1999ish. Seriously. A lot of new age mothers are excited for their daughters to become their ‘best friends’ and I’m like no ma’am. I have my own friend’s thank you and until you are of age I am your parent, not your homegirl. We kick it old school when it comes to parenting and have no problem being the ‘uncool’ parents of the group.
- Investigate her friends. Junior high/high school is not like elementary school where you often see the same parents at school functions and daily drop-off and pick-up. Kids make new friends everyday, so yeah, I check out their online presence to see if the image they project to me is the same they are portraying to the outside world and if not how far they are straying.
- Educate her about her ancestry and where she comes from not only within your family but as woman of color. Teach her about the world in which she currently resides and the one that preceded her existence so she is able to learn from both experiences and chart her course accordingly. Family reading is something we can all benefit from and there are a number of anthologies by African-American authors that paint a beautiful picture of the past and there is a lot to be learned from others experiences and stories that you can’t get from a TV movie.
We realize that as you go through life you try on different personas to see what fits and a lot of times as a teen, those personas don’t jibe with your parent’s vision of you. I get it, I was a teenager too, and we encourage self-expression and creative thought, but we also aren’t in the business of encouraging society’s values over our own.
Wow, Tina looks good in that bikini! you think, strolling through your Facebook feed. She just had the baby last month. How did she do it?
And there’s Nessa and her man in Dubai. The last time you and the hubby had a vaca Bush was President. Wonder who watches the kids?
Ah, look at Lisa’s spa day with the girls. You couldn’t get a sitter…
Switches to Instagram.
Damnit! Why didn’t anyone tell you that Stevie Wonder was playing a concert in Central Park?! Don’t they know how you feel about Stevie? There was that one time you and your mom risked getting cancer staying at the dankest, darkest, mildewy-est hotel room in New Orleans (you booked late) for Essence Fest, just to see him? But, man, it was worth it. You’d fly to the moon to see Stevie. To think that all you had to do was jump on the freakin’ subway train is maddening! And just look at everyone smiling like this could be his last concert on earth. Damn your life and everyone on social media!
It’s like you never get to do anything fun. Most days feel like a constant grind between work and the kids. And it’s not like you don’t enjoy spending time with them, it’s just that you want to be able to do some of the things you used to, like pick up and go!
Yet moms on social media are everywhere doing everything and sometimes you feel like that old newspaper sitting in the corner turning yellow.
It makes your relationship with social media dysfunctional at best. You love it, you hate it but you keep coming back. It’s because of work, you tell yourself, but a part of you knows better. Social media is your lifeline and without it you’d lose sight of everything.
So how do you deal with these feelings of straight-up envy whenever you get on social media?
You’d call your mom for advice, but she’s only on Facebook for Candy Crush. Last checked, she had no friends. Calling your friends is out because they’re the reason your life sucks. Who else could you call…? said while scrolling through your Facebook feed.
Wait, there’s Harriette Cole. The other day you saw a promo for her column, Ask Harriette, and were happy to see her still doing it. Why not ask her? She’s a mom on social media and since she was your boss back in the day, maybe she’ll take your call…
“First of all, stop taking in so much social media!” Hariette scolds. “And also be aware of the triggers that bring you down. Usually, it’s the images.”
She got that right. But it’s impossible to avoid the images.
“Well, if it happens that you see people from your circle at a party that you weren’t invited to, instead of getting down and grudgeful, congratulate them. Tell them that the event looked like a lot of fun and you’d love to be invited the next time. It happens so much with moms because we’re always taking care of our children. People forget. So remind them.”
She’s right. Between the kids, work and the hubby, your time is limited. Invites from even your closest friends get turned down, especially if they aren’t kid friendly.
“But you also have the power to decide what you want,” she adds. When you’re balanced enough to look outside of your nuclear family and work, use social media to start engaging. If it’s motivation to work out that you want, ask some friends on Facebook to join you on a run. If it’s inspiration and inclusion you need, create your own sisterhood.”
It makes so much sense. But when did you become so envious in the first place?
Maybe when you developed mom bod or perhaps when you started wearing the same three pieces from your wardrobe everyday, or maybe just maybe when you stopped remembering the last time you hung out with friends. Your lifestyle and priorities are so different. You ain’t the girl you used to be. And maybe that’s fine because the old you didn’t have kids and all she thought about was herself … and imagine if you couldn’t make the switch? You’re not supposed to be her. Running the streets all day and night. The vision of perfection. Who’s with your kids?
Harriette shared one last tidbit that was helpful. She said that her mom would tell her to count her blessings whenever she was feeling less than. “What are the little things you can be grateful for?” she’d say. “And she’d literally have me count them.”
You’re grateful for this conversation.
Erickka Sy Savané is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Essence, Uptown, Heart & Soul magazine, xojane.com, and more. She has a column for moms called Pop Mom, and before writing, she was a model/actress/MTV VJ. Read more of her work at ErickkaSySavane.com. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Some of the most giggle-inducing moments of my life have come from my immediate family’s group chat. This past weekend, my mother wanted me to ask my boyfriend about a store in his country, South Africa. And I said:
Me: Sure, I’ll ask T*.
And since we were on the topic of my boyfriend I decided to fill them in about a very thoughtful purchase he made for me.
Me: In other news look what he got for my feet.
I sent them a picture of an apparatus used to address the slightly protruding bones in my big toes.
Sister: What is that?!
Me: He said my big toes curves inward kinda like Aunt Myra’s. So this is supposed to correct it before I’ll need surgery.
Sister: T* ain’t no doctor guh lol
Me: It doesn’t hurt and they go a bit so I’m giving it a try. And then to my sister, I know fool! But his mom had the same thing.
Mom: Ron, never refer to T* as “he” always give his name.
Me: What are you saying Mom?
Meanwhile, my Dad, always one to stay on topic, asks if my feet were actually bothering me. For the record, they’re not.
Mom: “He” sounds like them street women trying to talk about their men.
Me, still not getting it: Huh?
Sister: She is saying quit saying “he.”
Like how hoodboogers refer to “their” men as “he”
Then, in my defense: But she said he after she mentioned his name.
Me: Mom, I mentioned T initially so I don’t want to keep saying ‘I’m going to ask T and look what T gave me and T said…’ it’s just redundant. It’s just too much. You know who I’m talking about.
Mom: Okay, okay!!!!!!
My mother has been known to be quite extra. I don’t think referring to your man as “he” is street. Still, I do see her point. I know I’ve seen my fair share of the never-ending social media posts from women posting some “artistic” image of their man with a simple caption: “Him.” Or hash tagging yet another picture of your man #HE. It is obnoxious. And frankly, a great way for “side chicks” to tell the world that they have a man, even if he’s not yours exclusively. You know, an image of his hand, cologne, back, foot, let’s the world know that he’s around. Even if he can’t be around all the time. It’s about telling your business while still maintaining the mystery. I’m being facetious for those who can’t tell.
Even in conversation, I notice that women will be speaking to other people who know their boyfriends, husbands very well, and will still refer to them, consistently with some type of pronoun or sweet, romantic nickname. It’s one thing if you’re speaking to strangers who won’t know your partner by name. But there’s no need to call your man bae, ad nauseam when I’ve known John longer than you have. Annoying. Hell, it might speak to the level of insecurity people have about their relationships, feeling the need to constantly remind you of their relation to said person.
I think what my mother is trying to say is that names are important. And it’s important to acknowledge people by them, as opposed to nondescript pronouns that could be applied to literally anyone or anything who identifies as male.
Have you noticed women referring to their partners as “he” or “him”? Does it bother you?
If you’re curious why Meek is trending right now it’s because the Internet has put him on a not-to-be-taken-lightly suicide watch after Nicki Minaj went on Ellen and said she’s single and called the Philly rapper “a boy that likes me.” Now in all fairness, those comments sound a bit more harsh than they actually were delivered and there is an explanation, though maybe not a great one, for why Nicki described Meek and their relationship as such: public negativity.
When inquiring about the engagement ring that’s supposedly not an engagement ring, Ellen asked Nicki if she was ready for a proposal from her famous boyfriend and she replied:
“You know, I don’t know. We’re still figuring each other out. And in fact, I don’t even want to say that I’m in a relationship anymore, because I think when people hear that, they go to like the mean place.”
Doing what she does best, Ellen provided comic relief saying she’s coming from a happy place (so spill the tea), and the Young Money star continued:
“You know, I used to be secretive. You guys asked me about that before on my pre-interview. I used to say, ‘I’m not in a relationship,’ even though I was in a 12-year relationship. Now I feel like just going back to that and saying, ‘You know what? I’m single… Now, I don’t really care to say ‘I’m in a relationship’ or ‘I’m engaged’ or whatever. There’s a boy that likes me. That’s all.”
So, you like him too? Or nah?
For the most part, I get what Nicki’s saying. If us common folk can fall prey to Insta-drama when people see a pic with someone one day and draw a crazy conclusion and then see a pic without the person a week later and draws another, I can only imagine the level of ridiculousness when you have 52 million followers. However, calling the person you’re dating just “a boy that likes me” or saying you two are just “two souls going through the universe” when she’s stuffed Meek down our throats for months on end, just isn’t going to cut it. Not for us, because we don’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but likely for Meek.
Despite looking up to Beyonce and Jay Z as a couple, Nicki failed to learn from their example of acting like they didn’t even know the other inhabited the same planet when they first began dating. Instead, Nicki has spoken about Meek every chance she’s gotten and splattered him all over her Instagram, as recent as one week ago mind you. That is not the behavior of a woman who doesn’t really care to say — or show — she’s in a relationship.
The thing about making relationships public, especially on social media, is there are no take-backs. You can’t have “In a relationship with Jason” on your Facebook page today and then remove it tomorrow without more than a few questions, even if you are still in a relationship with Jason. And the same goes for Instagram. If your timeline is full of photos with bae and #RelationshipGoals hashtags, suddenly halting all of that oversharing will raise a few eyebrows and, if you haven’t discussed downplaying your relationship with your partner, one of those eyebrows is going to be theirs.
Nicki is right; the negativity that surrounds relationships these days is not cool. But neither is portraying the person you’re with as some lovesick puppy following you around and showering you with nice things (like multi-carat diamond rings) you can take or leave. And given the rather inglorious year Meek has had between his legal troubles and being sh-tted on by Drake, the last person he needs to be played by is his girlfriend. On national TV. You don’t have to say you’re single to get the public out of your business; all you have to do is stop putting your business on display for the public.
Because Meek is a man, his ego is on the line and the masses are taking no mercy when it comes to throwing shots at him. But really this situation isn’t much different from how we clown women like Emily Bustamente for being with men like Fabolous who still refuse to acknowledge them as their girlfriends, even though they’ve been together for umpteenth years and have reared more than one of their children. There’s a way to go about downplaying your relationship in a way that doesn’t disrespect your union or the person you could maybe one day possibly see yourself marrying. Most times that’s going to have to be done from the jump, and be a joint decision by both parties. Nicki didn’t handle this the right way and now Meek has to pay, publicly.
Picture this: You’re hanging out with some friends at lunch, and a guy approaches your table. He’s been checking you out for a while from his seat at the bar and decides he just has to know who you are. Being the cautious person that you are, rather than giving him your number right away you decide just to keep it safe and exchange social media information, so you get his Facebook and Instagram names and tell yourself that if you don’t like him you can always just unfollow and block him.
After you leave your friends, you decide to research this guy. So you’re scrolling through his Facebook newsfeed and his Instagram account, and all you see are memes calling women “thots,” twerk videos, rants about women in general, and you wonder, “Sheesh, why did he even approach me?” So you’re sitting there in all your womanhood, baffled. Needless to say, delete and block…he won’t be hearing from you.
On the flipside, what the opposite sex finds on your social media accounts could be a turnoff as well. You might believe that you’re ready for love again, but your pages could say otherwise. You might still be holding on to some past hurt from previous relationships, and social media has become your venting ground. Your most recent ex messed up big time, but you’ve bunched his drama into the generalized category of “all men.” You post statuses and create memes about how much you can’t wait to find a person just for you, made for you, but then, you also post even more statuses and memes bashing just about everybody. So in this day and age, when it comes to dating and making connections and exchanging Instagram handles, Facebook accounts, and Twitter handles, one can’t help but wonder: Could the content you post be a reason you could be having a hard time finding love?
I mean, think about it. We all judge a lot of people based on the things they say, post and do on social media. And also think about it from a professional perspective: Some jobs in certain fields ask for your social media information when applying or when you’re on staff, and it’s not
just to be nosy, but for marketing reasons, and in some cases, to get to know what kind of person you really are. That’s why experts always advise you to be cautious of the content you post. Shouldn’t the same standard be set for your love life? You’re dating guy B, but still posting subliminal and negative messages and memes about what guy A did, which lets guy B know that God forbid if he messes up or makes a mistake, he’ll be subjected to the same drama. Therefore, he walks away wondering why he should even bother pursuing or being with someone who’s that publicly bitter and jaded.
I get that sometimes when we’re hurt, we don’t think about our actions at the moment. We just want to make that person hurt just as much as they have hurt us. It’s easy to repost a meme that relates to them hoping they see it, or a fake deep status rooted in our pain because we hope they feel remorseful for what they’ve done and whether they see it or not, everyone else does–including that prospect you were hoping would ask you out. But sometimes you have to do a self-check and ask yourself if you were someone else, how would you perceive yourself based on the things that are prevalent on your social media accounts?
“Me And Kehlani Were Not Dating When The Picture Came Out” Kyrie Irving Finally Speaks On Cheating Allegations
Kyrie Irving, the Cleveland Cavaliers guard, who is at the center of the discussion surrounding artists Kehlani and PartyNextDoor, finally decided to issue a statement about the cheating allegations and the nature of his current relationship with the singer.
The tweets were later deleted but the screenshot is real. Cleveland Sports Talk, as well as several other media outlets, saved them beforehand.
BREAKING: Here are the complete set of tweets Kyrie just posted about the Kehlani situation pic.twitter.com/wQQyt9szwX
— Cleveland SportsTalk (@CLEsportsTalk) March 31, 2016
The timing of this statement is interesting. While I’m certainly happy that he finally spoke up, it would have been more useful when Kehlani’s name, character and reputation were being called into question by far too many people, who didn’t and don’t know her, on the internet. At the front of the pack was a very vocal and extremely hypocritical Chris Brown. Perhaps Kyrie has been avoiding the news lately and didn’t see that his former girlfriend attempted to commit suicide. Who knows?
Either way, now that the statement’s out, hopefully some people learned some valuable lessons, like:
- A picture often doesn’t tell the full story.
- Stop shaming women…and comparing all of them to Ayesha Curry.
- Don’t listen to Chris Brown
- Be careful what you say on the internet, it can severely hurt people.
What do you think of Kyrie’s statement?
Your daughter seems to spend more time glued to her phone than actually breathing fresh air. Instead of learning that second language you wish she’d study, she’s checking out which Instagram filters show off her new dress the best. Sound familiar? Whether you like it or not, selfies have taken over the social media world.
As a parent, it’s normal to ask yourself why your kids are so obsessed with what’s happening on their Facebook and Instagram feed? And you’re not alone in that worry. A staggering 91 percent of teens having posted photos of themselves online. This modern fascination with the selfies raises some serious concerns for kids and parents alike.
The big question of course is what is this selfie obsession doing to your kids?
Let’s start with the obvious. Selfies reek of narcissism. They are also boldly in your face; often showing your kid in a more grownup light than you (and really they) are potentially ready for. Finally, with cyberstalking becoming more common, it’s hard not to worry about what your teen is up to online.
Overall, there is very little press that shows selfies are painted in anything but a negative light. After all, if she is updating the world about every little detail of her life, how can you trust that she’s staying safe online?
So what’s a parent to do?
Parenting Expert Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein tackles these issues perfectly. In this video she stresses that when it comes to your kid’s selfie habit, the REAL issue lies in the fact that you need to “make the judgment call [of where these photos are shared]. Whether she’s a tween or a teen, [she] may not always have the judgment call really right for herself.”
We couldn’t agree more! Sometimes, teens don’t understand the repercussions of their actions. It’s up to you as her parent to teach your child how to protect herself online.
But don’t worry, it’s not all bad news.
According to the LA Times, there are some hidden perks to taking selfies. After conducting a study, Lev Manovich stated that, “this self photography [are] indicative of a whole new photography movement and a way for individual self-expression.”
He goes on to say that, “It’s almost like a new landscape, or a new thought process: ‘I am a part of this picture.'”
As we see it, it makes total sense that your teen just wants to feel like she belongs. When done right (and by that we mean with discretion and safety in mind) not only are selfies a great way for her to express herself, they make her feel connected to her peers.
The US News backs this up by saying that selfies can help shape your teen’s identity. With the right supervision, selfies can impact your children’s happiness for the better.
So we ask you this: how are you managing your kid’s selfie habit? If you have a great idea for our readers, share it in the comments!
We couldn’t agree more! Sometimes, teens don’t understand the repercussions of their actions. It’s up to you as her parent to teach your child how to protect herself online.
Reprinted with permission from YourTango.com