I remember the first time I learned that people, children specifically, “didn’t have fathers.” My first grade tormentor Derek taught me that lesson. Derek, the bully, the pest, the agitator, who rarely spoke kindly or honestly, told me, matter of factly, that he didn’t have a father. Being that my father has always been a constant physical and emotional presence in my life, I really didn’t understand what he meant by that. How could someone not have a father? I took the question to my mother and she told me, “Everyone has a father. Some people just don’t know their fathers or their fathers aren’t around them that often.” I didn’t fully grasp what “not having a father” might mean to someone but I did sympathize with people like that, even Derek.

Today, I still don’t completely understand but as I’ve gotten older and been around more and more people who know this story, I’ve seen just how hurtful it can be. I’ve been around men who referred to their fathers as “sperm donors.” I’ve known women who sought the love they lacked from their fathers in other unworthy men and I’ve even come across a few people who’ve said not having a father in their lives didn’t affect them one way or the other.

A couple of years ago, I got into a pretty intense debate with an associate who used Father’s Day to broadcast his grievances with black men in general. I was enraged. Sure, there are deadbeat dads in our community, maybe even more than other communities, but don’t attack all black men when there are also numerous examples of black men doing the right thing when it comes to their children.

In recent years I’ve come to realize that my associate wasn’t the only one.

How many of our leaders, black leaders, take the time to celebrate black fathers? How many black clergymen use Father’s Day as another day to bash black men instead of dedicating the day to celebrating the fathers who are taking care of their children? I know the Pastor of my home church hasn’t always celebrated black men on Father’s Day. Not surprisingly, he grew up without a father. Even President Obama, who writes and speaks candidly about his father’s absence, spent a majority of his now famous Father’s Day speech at the Apostolic Church of God in 2008 telling black men to step up.

It wasn’t until later, like earlier today, that I realized that they, my associate, my pastor and even President Obama, were speaking from a place of hurt. They were projecting their experiences, their pain onto the entire community.

And I don’t completely disagree with them. There are some…a lot of black men who do need to step up and have a more effective role in their children’s lives. What I don’t agree with, is the attack on all black men. Society does that everyday of the year. The brothas who are trying and succeeding at being good fathers to their children deserve some recognition. Why can’t they get that on Father’s Day? After all, I don’t see deadbeat or absentee mothers being derided on Mother’s Day. And we all know those women exist…

Since I’m calling for the celebration of good black fathers it’s only right that I take a little time to thank my own father for his guidance, his wisdom, his humor, his provision, his encouragement and his presence. I hope that on Father’s Day and everyday you, and all the fathers like you, receive the recognition you deserve for a [tough] job well done.

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Source: styleblazer.com

From styleblazer.com

By Tameika Lawrence

Mommies get a lot of love.  But when it comes to fathers, the focus is always on what they’re not doing right.  We hear enough about no-good ratchet baby-daddies.  It’s time to highlight the men who balance successful full-time careers with properly and affectionately rearing their children.  With Father’s Day around the corner, they deserve a little praise, no?  Check out these seven single celeb dads we love for being real fathers to their offspring. We salute you!

Check out who makes the list at styleblazer.com

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Source: tweetbuzz.us

Following in the footsteps of Sybrina Fulton and her touching Mother’s Day PSA about Trayvon Martin and the problems with the “Stand Your Ground” law, Tracy Martin has put out his own PSA about his son, his first Father’s Day without Trayvon, and the need to combat “Stand Your Ground” laws and help prevent a Father’s Day where 30,000 fathers will be without their sons. Those were the statistics presented for the number of sons and daughters slain through gun violence just last year alone.

The video is one that tugs at the heart strings, especially when images of Trayvon and Tracy are presented (especially the one where Tracy is kissing his son on the cheek).The main point of the video seems to be that it’s important for people to contact their governors and ask them to re-examine the “Stand Your Ground” laws that stand across the country. There are about 25 in all. If you know anybody who has been killed by senseless acts of violence involving firearms, I’m sure you can understand Tracy’s pain, and can feel him when he says, “Life can be beautiful.” To help do your part, go to SecondChanceOnShootFirst.org to gain more information on the many reckless gun laws and what you can do to help put a halt to them. Until then, check out the video below and let us know your thoughts. Happy Father’s Day Mr. Martin.

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Source: iamsupergorge.com

I sometimes forget that Ne-Yo is a father of two, but the R&B singer and songwriter is showing off the bambinos for a special father’s day issue of PEOPLE magazine.

Ne-Yo talked about the personalities of his little ones, daughter  Madilyn, who’s 18 months, and son Mason who’s 8 months.

“Madi’s a little rough and tumble with me because she was my first kid, so all of the little boy things I wanted to do, I did with her. She and I wrestle,” he told the magazine. “[Mason is] the most mellow baby on the planet.”

We can tell Ne-Yo takes pride in the way he dresses and he says little Madilyn is following closely in his footsteps. Since she’s a little girl, you would think Ne-Yo’s partner Monyetta Shaw would be responsible for his daughter’s budding sense of fashion, but the 32-year-old is taking all the credit.

“She loves clothes. You could put three dresses in front of her and she’ll pick her favorite, and normally it’s the flyest one,” he said. “I’m thinking she gets that from me. Yeah! Daddy’s fashion sense!

Daddy knows best, huh?

If you’re a Ne-yo fan you’ll be happy to know his fifth studio album, R.E.D., is due in stores September 18th.

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The number 64 is a running theme throughout the trailer for a new film in the works titled “Father’s Day” that looks at the effect growing up without a dad has had on children from such black homes. Sixty-four corresponds to the alarming percentage of African-American children that grow up without a father. Many people discuss the effect on boys, but the results for young women are less often brought to light.

Directed by Ashley Shante, founder of Dear Diary Productions, the coming film is based on her personal experiences related to coming to terms with effects of growing up fatherless that she had been unaware of. Although the film is not an autobiography, it is closely based on Ashley’s own emotional experience of growing up fatherless and her self-exploration through diary writing. Plus, the impact of a book called “What Ever Happened to Daddy’s Little Girls?,” by Jonnetta Rosa Barras, started her on her journey.

Ashley connected with friend and actress Squeaky Moore to bring the film to life and is currently trying to raise funds to begin production. The trailer is pretty heart-wrenching and speaks to the feelings of rejection and abandonment many children and even adults still feel as a result of not having a father in their home. Being a part of that 64%, I can certainly relate to one woman’s comment in the trailer below — Father’s Day is just another Mother’s Day for me, too.

Check out the trailer below. How do you think films like this might help African-American women deal with not having a father? If you have faced a similar fate, how have you coped? Are you planning on making a donation to fund this film’s mission?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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(The Grio) — Ask anyone who has been raised by a single mother, and they will tell you that their moms played many roles in their lives, including teacher, cook, accountant, housekeeper, driver, CEOand psychologist, and often times, they even served as a father figure for their household. While it’s important to celebrate these mothers and all that they do every day of the year, Hallmark found it necessary to commemorate their contributions to their families with a series of Father’s Day greeting cards created to specifically for single mothers.  While Hallmark offered more than 700 card styles for Father’s Day, the majority of the nontraditional greeting cards for single moms were part of the company’s Mahogany brand, which is their line specifically designed for African-American consumers. The Mahogany Father’s Day collection included 66 culturally-relevant designs and sentiments that honor dad and other special men and women in a person’s life, and two of these celebrate black single mothers.

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There is something special about dads and their daughters. From, the soft spot he will always have for her to the little princess she will always be in his eyes. Their unique bond is like no other, and no matter how old she gets, she will always be daddy’s little girl.

In honor of Father’s Day, here are a few notable divas who are Daddy’s little girls at heart…

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Father’s Day is always a great day to reflect on the amazing things your own dad has done for you, and on a website that focuses a lot on women most of the time, it’s nice to show some love to the men, especially the committed fathers out there, near and far, real or fake…

We’ve already most recently given mad props to our favorite fathers from our favorite movies, but now it’s time to put on blast a few fathers from some film and television gems, who can’t seem to act right. Their deeds have made them some of the crappiest dads out there, and hopefully this list will help you be more grateful for the dad you’ve got. Cause he could be one of these fools…

Oh, one more thing. If you have not seen “For Colored Girls,” but you plan to see it, do NOT click on the last slide. *SPOILER ALERT*

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(CBS News) — He’s been dubbed the “Matt Drudge of African American entertainment” by the New York Times – and while he takes his racy reporting seriously, celeb blogger and former Wall Street corporate tax attorney Fred Mwangaguhunga knows that fatherhood ultimately trumps any scoop he may get.  When he’s not reporting on rappers’ indiscretions, Rihanna’s latest hairdo, Beyonce’s Hot, new promo, or Chris Brown’s latest antics for MediaTakeOut.com, he’s a stay-at-home dad to three little stars in their own right – his triplets, David, Eva and Sam.

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It’s easy to assume that if a man is a great father he is also a good husband, as they should be one in the same. But unfortunately not all men can walk in the shoes of Heathcliff Huxtable, leaving us to wonder – Can a man be a good dad but a bad husband? Are they equally important? Uptown Magazine writer Nancy Daniels explores this topic further. Check it out!

Is it possible to be bad a husband but a good father? Does one affect the other?