It can be hard to get men into holistic practices. Who are we kidding—it can be hard to get them to keep up with their modern medicine appointments like checkups and teeth cleanings. If you’re just barely winning that battle with your significant other, then you probably get a blank stare or a role of the eyes when you bring up things like acupuncture, Chinese herbs and—ah yes—meditation. But if you are an avid meditator then you know how amazing the benefits are. How could you not want your partner to experience those? If you really love your SO, then you don’t care if you have to drag him into the room, kicking and screaming; you’re getting him into meditation. Here are ways to get your partner into meditation.
Tell him about the pros who do it
LeBron James, Oprah, Arianna Huffington, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Steve Jobs and Deepak Chopra are all meditators, to name a few. You can probably list ten people your partner looks up to who meditate and who accredit meditation for their success.
Remind him it’ll be good for his career
Meditation helps you become very clear on what your next career steps should be, what you want out of your career, and how to believe in your ability to achieve those things. If your partner has been banging his head against the wall in his work life, suggest he try meditation for just ten minutes.
Start it as a bedtime routine
If your partner suffers from insomnia, you could first introduce meditation as a bedtime routine. Pitch it as a simple relaxation breathing exercise that can lull him to sleep. He’ll discover the other benefits that come with it on his own.
Bring up his blood pressure
If your partner has high blood pressure and comes from a family with a history of heart disease, notify him that meditation can reduce blood pressure in some individuals. So maybe he doesn’t need to cut back on some of his other vices quite as much if he picks up meditation.
It’s cheaper than alcohol or massages
Tell him meditation leaves you feeling as relaxed (if not more relaxed) than a cocktail or a massage does and it’s free. If your partner loves to pinch pennies and hates to spend money on recreational activities, go with the financial pitch.
Ease him into the music and the crystals
You may burn sage, hold crystals and play special meditation music when you meditate, but you’re going to have to ease your partner into those things. Just create a tidy, clean space for him and spray a little cleansing spray before he lies down.
Promise him a reward
Promise your partner that if he doesn’t feel better after meditating that you will do his apartment chores for the week. He and you will know, based on the undeniable zen smile on his face and relaxed breathing, that the meditation worked. He won’t even want to lie and say it didn’t to get his reward—people become very honest after meditating.
The first time, he’ll need to be calm
Even though your partner needs meditation more than ever when he’s stressed out, know that that’s the last time he’ll be willing try it for the first time. When your partner is stressed out, he is still in the mindset of “Need to do more, need to rush around.” Get him into meditation when he is relaxed; he’ll learn to do it when he’s stressed out on his own.
Try some guided recordings
Your partner may need a little guidance, but he could feel too insecure to have you guide him through the meditation. Find a few guided meditation recordings for him. You may want to ask the male meditators you already know what they listen to (in other words, what won’t be too out there for your partner).
Show him the studies
Men like to see the numbers! They want hard facts. They want studies. Well, the studies are out there about how meditation helps with depression, chronic pain, anxiety, insomnia and more. Send your partner the studies.
Let him see you when you’re done
Meditate when your partner is home so he can see how clearly relaxed and happy you are after it. You can’t quite convince your partner what good meditation does for you if he’s never around to see it.
Tell him it could improve your sex life
Because meditation helps us be fully present in our bodies, aware of and grateful for every sensation, it can make sex so much better. Consider mentioning that to your partner.
Set aside time for it
If your partner still has the ironic belief that he is too stressed out to meditate then you certainly can’t get him into it when he’s busy. Find a day you know he’ll be free and relaxed—this could even be on vacation—and schedule meditation. If he knows he has nothing else to do at that time, he’ll be more prone to get into it.
It can help break bad habits
Does your partner need to quit smoking? Cut back on drinking? Wean himself off of fast food? Ease up on watching adult films? Meditation can help a lot. If he’s at the point where he’s willing to try anything to break a destructive habit, that could be your time to make your move.
Put all his favorite things in the space
Create a space full of things that have positive associations for your partner. You could bring out photos of his favorite family members or memorabilia from his childhood. Holding onto things that make you happy when you meditate can help you get into it.