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There is a thin line between love and hate, and that line is usually crossed when a boyfriend of numerous years breaks up with his girlfriend only to get married to somebody else in two years or less.

We’ve all heard stories of long-time couples breaking up and the woman heartbroken and confused tries to go and find “herself” by remaining single in an attempt to finding her way back to happy. While her ex-man is reformed, a much better person and luckily finds his soul mate turned wife within the next 24 months.  Grant it, in many situations these long-term couples were young when they met and may have grew apart, resulting in the breakup but it still doesn’t diminish the pain of training a boyfriend to be somebody else husband.

Now when I say train, I do not mean teach in a student – teacher way so to speak, I’m referring to the time and effort a woman puts into a relationship, grooming her man, teaching him how to love her and allowing him to experience the ups and down in a relationship while ultimately learning about his self.  It’s hard to pin point if you are “training” your man for somebody else because the reality is you just never know. Men have admitted that after being in a long-term relationship with a woman, the experience helped them discover what they wanted and did not want so when the next lady in their life came along they were much smarter and wiser and able to settle down much faster.

When situations like this occur the ex-girlfriend is usually livid and feels as if she wasn’t “good” enough to marry especially after all those years. Feelings of despair, inadequacy, doubt and hate fill her heart as she tries to comprehend where she went wrong and why she was not the one receiving the return on her investment. Her “ring the alarm” attitude can quickly become ‘’I broke the windows in your car” rage if she is not careful. But ladies I’m here to tell you that while it may be unfortunate that your relationship didn’t work out and end in marriage like you may have wanted, the lesson in the whole thing is priceless – if you ever feel like you are giving and doing too much in a relationship, take a step back and ask yourself is it worth it? Make sure you are not doing a “job” you are not getting “paid” for if you know what I mean. I know this is hard to do when you love someone, but you must love yourself much more.

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