Do you ever feel completely helpless on your period? Like your happy, positive, sane self is trapped under this grumpy, mean and depressed robot disguised as you? And the cramps, oooooh the cramps. You never know if you need to run to the toilet, get your appendix removed or just bite the corner of the strongest table in your house because it’s just PMS and there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
Men don’t understand; they think that they get the brunt of our periods, but they don’t realize that for every time we yell at them, we yell at ourselves 20 times (internally—it’s that mean robot I mentioned before). If you’re a woman, you probably wouldn’t turn down a little help in making your period suck less, so here are a few little-known ways to do it.
Eat turkey sandwiches
Turkey is packed with B6 which fights bloat, mood swings and cravings. Yeah—it’s basically a PMS power food.
Eat a lot of fiber
The discomfort affiliated with any amount of constipation is ten times as bad when you have period cramps. You can only handle so many problems in your downstairs plumbing at a time, so eat lots of fiber on the days leading up to your period, and during it to keep you regular.
Don’t go shopping
Why do that to yourself? You’ll be infuriated that you are usually a size six but today you are a size eight! It’s just the bloat, but you can’t really know if the size six would fit you under normal conditions.
Your mood swings cannot handle the blood sugar spike and crash that comes along with eating a lot of sugar.
You should eat though! Just eat healthy foods, and eat regularly. Don’t let yourself become furiously hungry before finally eating like you normally do. Again, your mood swings cannot handle this.
I know I know; you need your wine on your period. But actually, you don’t. Wine provokes migraines, to which we’re already more vulnerable on our periods. Wine also can cause the hangover blues, and you’re already battling the period blues.
Keep tea tree oil on hand
It can attack blemishes as well as benzoyl peroxide, but it won’t cause any unwanted inflammation and its smell is soothing.
And essential oils
How calm do you feel at the end of yoga class? Exactly. That’s not just the poses; it’s the essential oils your teacher has filling the room with calming smells. Essential oils can truly change the vibe of your room. Lavender is great, but sniff a few at your local pharmacy and see which one you love.
Don’t go to the dentist
I learned this from my dental hygienist lately. I went in for my routine teeth cleaning and for some reason, it hurt far more than usual. “Are you on your period?” my hygienist asked me. “Yes….” I replied, slightly paranoid. “Your gums are more sensitive on your period.” Damn!
Don’t get a wax
Almost everything is more sensitive when you’re on your period, including (of course) your vaginal skin and muscles! This is not the time to go in for a wax. It’s not nice to do that to your waxist right now, anyways.
I know—makes no sense, right? But actually, tampons have been shown to make cramps worse! They can contain chemicals that irritate your insides. If you can make the switch to pads, it could help.
Get a heating pad
Get one of those squishy heat pads you’ve been eyeing at the pharmacy and lay it across your lower abdomen—it relieves cramps.
Get a lot of sleep
When you are sleep deprived your body cannot produce all of the chemicals it needs for you to feel happy. You don’t need that struggle right now!
Remind yourself that you’re on your period
When I’m on my period, sometimes the world feels like a dark place. The only thing that consoles me is the thought, “I’m on my period. This is not how I usually feel. Last Thursday I felt on top of the world! I’ll get there again.” But yeah—give yourself a break. You don’t need to beat yourself up over the ways you’re behaving on your period. Your period is already beating you up.
Wear your power underwear
This might be the time of the month when you wear your grossest, most dilapidated underwear because you think that’s what Aunt Flo deserves. But it depresses you to see your butt in those bulky boy shorts, doesn’t it? And on other days, when you wear your hot red booty-lifting half-thong, you feel damn good. So wear that now! (Just wear a super tampon because you don’t want to ruin those undies).