Want To Date A Plus-Size Woman? Here Are Some Things You Should Know

August 20, 2015  |  
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After reading countless blog posts (usually written by men) on reasons to date a fat girl and 10 Tips for Dating Fat Girls, I concluded that many of these posts barbarize the plus-size woman. They have stripped us of femininity, beauty, and sexiness. Well, it’s time to put these misconceptions and stereotypes to rest. Want to date a plus-size woman? Here are some things you should know.

Extra Pounds Doesn’t Mean Abnormal

Whether we identify as a plus-size woman, a fat woman, a chubby woman, or an overweight woman, we are women! We aren’t weird, strange, barbaric, primitive, or inhumane. We aren’t a bizarre species and don’t want to be considered the subject of society’s narrow-minded exhibitionist views. We are beautiful, sexy, smart, and feminine. If you don’t see that when you look at us, please don’t waste your time or our time trying to date us.

We Know Our Limitations, But Challenge Us Anyway

I once was taken on a date to a water park. I was concerned about weight restrictions on the rides and being comfortable in a bathing suit. In spite of those worries, I had the time of my life. Be cognizant that there are some limitations plus-size women face. But don’t let that stop you from planning fun and adventurous dates with her. Your excitement about your plans will get her excited. That is motivation enough.

Got A Fetish? Cool. Bye!

Most plus-size women seek authentic, healthy, and long-lasting relationships. We don’t find enjoyment in fulfilling a temporary fantasy or fetish. Your fetishes and fantasies are your prerogative. Find the social group that supports your needs and skip us with all that!

We Have No Interest In Being A Best-Kept Secret

Though we enjoy some one-on-one time, going out and meeting your friends and family is important. Especially after dating for a while. When you don’t take us to significant social events, it easily translates to you being embarrassed or ashamed to be seen in public with a plus-size woman. I’ve often heard men say they avoid taking their plus-size girlfriends around their friends to avoid rude or insensitive comments that may hurt her feelings. Though that sounds like you’re compassionate, it still translates as embarrassment. Plus-size women are strong, and many of us have heard every “fat” joke in the book. We want someone who is going to be proud enough to walk into a room with us on his arm and to stand up for us if we are disrespected. Reevaluate those friendships if you have people in your circle who would deliberately hurt the woman you are dating.


The Element of Surprise Will Work In Your Favor

Quite a few women say, “I hate surprises!” But I’d argue that it’s only because they haven’t had the right encounter with the right surprise. Plus-sized women are used to a daily routine. They are used to snide comments about their weight, not being able to find their size in many name brand fashion lines, strange looks, and so much more. So thoughtful surprises that remind her that she’s beautiful and appreciated will always work in your favor. Surprise her with a couples massage at a plus-size-friendly spa. Get that dress she’s been eyeing tailored just for her. Break her normal routine with special, priceless memories she can remember to make her smile on those tough days; a single rose, a romantic greeting card, hey, even a naughty text.


Your List Of Priorities Should Include Her

Many people fall victim to putting their mate on the back burner especially after dating someone for a while. Whether subconsciously or consciously. Plus-size women are very loyal so it’s almost second nature for the person they’re dating to find comfort in knowing they will be there. However, in your comfort, make sure she knows and is treated like she is a priority in your life. Turn off your cell, finish that deadline for work at work, save plans with the guys for next weekend, and hold off on the Xbox game for later. Share football Sundays with her. Include her in your life or you might just look up and find that she’s gone on with hers.



Project Management Is For Work. Not Dating.

Plus-size women know they are fat. We don’t need to be reminded. We can count; we don’t need you to count our calories, pounds, or BMI number for us. We can read; we don’t need you to do a read-a-loud of the nutrition facts of what we eat for us. Trust me, losing weight and being healthy is something on our minds, even if not frequently. Think encouragement, not enforcement. Plus-size women don’t want to spend their dating life with someone who is committed to changing their physical appearance. Perhaps Build-A-Bear is a better choice for you.


A Plus-Sized Woman’s Life Does Not Revolve Around Food

One common misconception about plus-size women is that all we do is sit at home and eat. The reality is we are successful on our jobs, have unique hobbies, love to travel, and seek adventure. So take us for a walk on a beach, horseback riding, salsa dancing or to a pottery class. Just like any date, a meal is just additional time for you to get to know one another; not a requirement just because she’s a plus-size woman.


Prove Yourself Trustworthy So Communication Is Effortless

Creating a space where a plus-size woman can be open and honest about who she is and how she feels is key. Having to face size discrimination is something she has to deal with often. The last place she wants to deal with being judged because of her weight is in her relationship. Make sure she knows she doesn’t have to face the world alone, and you are right there beside her.

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