#6 Come on Strong, then Back Off
Men are notoriously good at this–they come on strong, get you all in a lather, then just ‘disappear’ for a few days. Or weeks. What’ good for the goose is very, very good for the gander. Lieberman calls this tactic ‘bait and switch.’ “The bad girl is just like a fisherman who lets the bait dangle close to the fish’s mouth and then pulls it away a little bit, then lets it dangle, then pulls it away, with the soft to and fro of the current until the next time the fish sees the bait he can’t help but swallow it hook, line, and sinker.”
Christelyn D. Karazin is a health writer and the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate Mixing Race Culture and Creed (to be released February 2012), and runs a blog, www.beyondblackwhite.com, dedicated to women of color who are interested and or involved in interracial and intercultural relationships. She is also the founder and organizer of “No Wedding, No Womb,” an initiative to find solutions to the 72 percent out-of-wedlock rate in the black community.