For some Black women, going on a date with a White man can be extremely nerve-wracking, especially if it’s their first time dating a white man. You might be wondering, “Will we have anything in common?” “What are going to talk about?” and “Will there be any awkward moments?” Well, in this case your best bet is to go into the date thinking that he’s just a normal guy, regardless of his race. Unfortunately, sometimes that plan fails miserably because some of these White men can’t help but keep reminding you that you are Black and they are White. It’s not that they do it on purpose, but it’s just that sometimes make certain comments that can seem annoying or even inappropriate. Making these comments cannot only ruin the date, but turn you off dating White men altogether. Not sure what I mean? Well, here is a list of the most annoying things that White men sometimes say on dates.
“I love Tupac, Biggie, Jay Z, Kanye etc.”
It’s 2014 right? So why do some White men still feel the need to prove that they like hip hop or “Black” music? For all you know, I could actually really like alternative or rock music. The point is, stop trying to prove to me that you’re “down” with whatever. It won’t make me think you’re cooler; it will only make me think that you’re trying too hard.
“So what do you think about [insert most popular current Black issue here]?”
Generally speaking, it’s not a good idea to get into a deep discussion about politics on a first date, but for some reason, White men will sometimes want to know what you think about certain popular issues concerning African Americans. Don’t take this the wrong way, it’s not that I mind discussing it, but I just feel like these issues shouldn’t be the first things you think of when we go for a first date. So all I remind you of is affirmative action, healthcare, and the Trayvon Martin case? There’s more to me than these Black issues.
“One time my friend said the N word, and I was like ‘No, that’s wrong’”
For some reason, some White guys feel the need to prove that they are some sort of civil rights activist. This usually involves sharing some sort of heroic story where they once combatted racism. The story usually ends with “I told them no because you should not judge someone by the color of their skin” or “I said you shouldn’t do that because it’s racist.” Can we just have a normal date where we talk about what we like to do for fun or what we do for a living?
“I have so many Black friends”
Sometimes White men will go on and on about their Black friends thinking that it will somehow impress you. This sort of reminds me of the times when White people say something inappropriate, and get accused of racism, but then quickly reply “There’s no way I’m racist because my friend is Black.” Although, the issue with your date wouldn’t be racism, the conclusion is still the same. I am more concerned with YOU, than who your friends are. After all, I am on a date with YOU, and not your friends. Having Black friends won’t help the situation if you have the personality of burnt toast.
“I love all types of women”
For some reason, White men often feel the need to re-assure us that they love women outside of their race, but if you’re already on a date with me, isn’t obvious you like women outside of your race? Otherwise, you wouldn’t be on this date with me. There is no need to waste time re-assuring me of this. Once again, I’d rather be talking about what normal people talk about on dates, like what they like to do for fun etc.
“I have a thing for Black girls”
Although this might seem like the last one, it is nothing like it. Somehow “having a thing” for Black women has a completely different connotation to it. It sounds like you have some sort of fetish for Black women and want to use me for some nasty fantasy you have in your mind. Statements like this are an immediate turn off for me. Sorry, but I have no desire to fulfill your sudden thirst for a Black woman.
“Damnnn girl” or “Girl, you crazzzzy”
One of the worst things a White man can do on a date is re-enforce Black stereotypes, even if it’s in a joking way. Why? Because that tells me that you are simply judging me by my skin even though one would think you wouldn’t do that (after all, you are on a date with a Black woman). You may find it funny, but I don’t, especially if I don’t fit into the stereotype you are talking about. Not every Black woman says “Oh no you didn’t!”
“Do you want some hot sauce?”
In this day and age, I think it’s safe to say that most White people know that referencing fried chicken in any way shape or form to a Black person can be offensive. Unfortunately, some people still haven’t gotten the memo about hot sauce. Not all Black people love hot sauce, hot wings, or spicy food. Once again, please don’t re-enforce Black stereotypes.
“Why is it okay for Black people to say the n-word, but we can’t?”
**Sigh…that age old question that just won’t go away…even on a date. It’s not that I have a problem with White people who are genuinely curious as to why it is considered inappropriate, but it’s the fact that you’re making me answer the question as if I am representative of the entire race. Believe it or not, we’re not all the same, and some of us have differing views. Once again, your best bet is to keep the conversation light and fun. Save the debates for after we know that we actually like each other, not when we’re still trying to…