15 Things Black Folk Don’t Do — Allegedly

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“You can never judge what people don’t do, but you can speak about what you see sometimes.”

“Black Folk Don’t” is a funny web series by Angela Tucker about the things black folks do and don’t do. The answers black folk give are thought-provoking, laugh-out loud funny, and help map out the ways in which “Black Folk” are alike and different. Season 3 of the series just started and we can’t wait to tune in. Check out our list of our favorite episodes along with a few other things black folk don’t do.

Black Folk Don’t: Go to the Doctor

We all have an older relative that has to be just about dead before they’re willing to go to the doctor: “Just put some butter on it. It’ll be OK.”

Black Folk Don’t: Swim

Black women seem to lead the pack on this one. It’s not that we can’t swim. We just don’t want to get expensive hair wet or spend hours in the bathroom helping it recover from the chlorine.

Black Folk Don’t: Commit Suicide

Religious views and a “walk it off” attitude make suicide a taboo subject in the black community. Statistically, black women are the group in America least likely to take their own lives. But that doesn’t mean that none of us have lost a family member this way.

Black Folk Don’t: Get Married

We’ve all heard the statistics: 70% of black women will never marry. So why is my Facebook feed filled with engagement photos?

Turns out, the stats are skewed. They’re from a 2009 Census study that only polled black women between the ages of 25 and 29. But when you look at black women over the age of 53, the number drops down to 13%. Unfortunately, there’s still a shortage of brothers out there…

Black Folk Don’t: Camp

“For some reason, we don’t like animals, we don’t like wild things, we don’t like things that we can’t control…” Some black people think camping is cool. A lot of us just can’t.
This episode is full of funny stories about being scared to go in the woods or too fond of creature comforts to spend a night sleeping on the ground.

Black Folk Don’t: Travel

It’s not that black folk don’t travel, it’s just that we’re real particular about where we go. We’ll go down south to visit relatives or hit the tropical tourist resort spots. But the number of black folk you’ll find trekking in Nepal or scuba diving in Australia gets closer to 0.

Black Folk Don’t: Do Yoga

This was true once upon a time, but a lot more of us are hitting the mat. Cory Booker, Russell Simmons and other celebrities are notorious yoga enthusiasts. A lot more of us would probably join the band wagon if it wasn’t $18 a class.

Black People Don’t: Do Atheism

Frederick Douglass, Langston Hughes, Morgan Freeman are all famous black atheists. But as a whole, black people are very religious. Religion is part of our culture. So even those of us who don’t believe tend to keep it quiet.

Black Folk Don’t: Do Winter Sports

There’s…that Jamaican bobsled team…there’s that black speed skater…and that’s about it. Lots of black people have skied or snowboarded, but not a lot of black people keep doing it. Is it because we like the warmth? Or are we waiting for a brother to win the Winter Olympics for it to catch on?

Black Folk Don’t: Go to Therapy

According to the folks on “Black Folk Don’t,” this is a generational thing. Older people feel you can get all the guidance you need from your minister. But it’s hard to turn on an episode of “Love and Hip Hop” or “Real Housewives of Atlanta” without catching somebody on a psychiatrist’s couch. We work out our issues in 2013.

Black Folk Don’t: Experiment With Food

Are you down for a little pad see ew, sashimi or bim bim bap? Or is pizza as exotic as it gets for a lot of us?

Black Folk Don’t: Take Vacations

When’s the last time you packed up the family and headed somewhere beautiful and fun? We take vacation days but we don’t always get further than the back yard.

Black People Don’t: Go Out In The Rain

It’s not just a hair thing. Your grandmother is afraid you’ll “catch your death” if you walk around in wet clothes. But honestly, who actually likes going out in the rain? It’s wet out there.

Black People Don’t: Tip

This stereotype has been circulating for a while. But most black people I know are sure to tip because they’ve heard the rumors. Do you give 15% all the time? Or do you save it for stellar service?

Black People Don’t: Age

This is certainly true for some black women. Have you seen Angela Bassett in American Horror Story: Coven? She was born in 1958 and she looks 30.

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