Tell It All: Tashera Simmons Talks Domestic Violence, Divorce & Her New Man In New Book

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What is your relationship with him like today? I know you all still have children… 

Yeah but, I never talked about it until the book came out, so now I feel free but sad but true, he’s not involved with his kids at all. He doesn’t call. That’s mainly the reason why my oldest wanted to confront him just to ask him. It’s the craziest thing, he was the best father when we were together. He took being a father very seriously. He was in every labor, he’s seen every last one of them come out. And I don’t know what happened… well, I know what happened– he said that I turned on him and it was because I didn’t let him do what he wanted to do. I wasn’t a yes man and I became the enemy. So it’s not a good relationship at all and it’s because he’s not in our children’s lives. He doesn’t help us financially at all. When I said it’s a wrap, he said, ‘Let me see how you’re going to be able to live with no money.’ And I thought he was playing but he was dead serious.


How their relationship ended? 

I kind of figured out he was cheating and I said, ‘Are you cheating?’ and he said, ‘No, no.’ And then he admitted it. And he said the person that I’m cheating with says you don’t understand me and you don’t have faith in me because I was trying to put him into a rehab and she said I can do it on my own. And I said, then that’s who you need to be with then because I been with you for 23 years–that was 23 years at the time–and I was like, you know like I know that we’ve been fighting this drug for as long as we could know. You’re going to meet some random chick that tells you whatever you want to hear and you believe that? That’s who you need to be with. And that was it after that. That’s the day that I never let him come back because he thought it was a game.

You’ve moved on, you’re currently dating someone, how is that relationship going? 

Very good. I dated a couple of other people before that because this is an 8 year span. I was DMX with the first person, I was real– it was just no rules with DMX. He’s one of a kind. He doesn’t like following the rules of the road. It’s just whatever with him and that’s how I became which I didn’t notice until I met a normal guy. And I was like ‘You’re so boring.’ And I would come out my face and actually say that sometimes. And that didn’t work. Then I dated another guy, maybe a year after that. He was a psychologist at a school and he was boring to me too. And it was sad. I started realizing that I’m so used to this kind of person that I can’t even embrace someone normal. The person that I’m actually seeing now, it’s been a year and I guess, I want to say that he is definitely a different kind of man. The other guys were cool, they were normal but this guy is so–I never met a man like this before. And I think I was ready for someone like that. He’s very humble, he’s very understanding, he’s very quiet, he’s in his own lane. He does his own thing, he’s very supportive. He stimulates my mind. I’m not looking for someone with a whole bunch of money because I know what that brings. I just want somebody that, that we can understand each other and that’s what he’s been. He’s far from verbally abuse or anything else but its great, it’s really good. It’s different and I’m trying to embrace it. It’s a struggle to be honest with you sometimes. Sometimes it’s so normal that it doesn’t feel right. But God is my real official man but you know I’m just trying.


Where are you in the process of getting a divorce? 

I like to say ex wife because it feels good but we’re actually going to be final this month, November.


So everything has been filed?

Yeah, I did. He doesn’t want to sign. He does not want to sign.


What is that about? 

I don’t know. To be honest with you, because I don’t want to say he’s still in love with me because if he is, he has a funny way of showing it. So he doesn’t want to sign. We’ve sent many of letters. The judge is actually going to honor it now because he said this man doesn’t pay child support and he doesn’t even want to comply with your divorce so we’re going to honor it, thank God for that.


The book, which is published by MBP, is called You Think You Know But You Have No Idea. You can find it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Target, Walmart, Nook, Kindle, Paypal and any where else books are sold.

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