For the slew of singles ready to trade in the solo life (cuffing season has started!), navigating the dating scene can be both thrilling and stressful when trying to find something real. With differing personalities, conflicting views and a sex-crazed society, it can be hard to find someone who’s compatible and wants more than just a fling. While it takes time to really know a person for sure, here’s a look at a few simple questions to ask on a first date so that you will know if your new “friend” is just another no-go, or if he has the potential to be something and someone special down the line.
Is He Married, Already In a Relationship Or Dating Multiple People?
This may seem like an unnecessary inquiry, considering the guy is on a date with you, but sadly, we live in a world where people don’t mind wining and dining new booty, even if they already have someone waiting at home. The good thing is that some of these cheaters don’t have a problem telling you what it is–all you have to do is ask. If he’s married, shacking up, or has a girlfriend period, do yourself a favor and hit the road, jack.
Is He Employed?
Times are hard, so if you’re looking for something long-term, you need to know if this person is someone you can build with. In order to create a solid future, of course, financial stability is a must. Inquire about what he does and how long he’s been doing it to get a feel on his work ethic and how financially secure he is. You never know, you might even find interest in his career and be able to assist in, or learn from, what he does.
What Are His Goals/Aspirations?
Even if your date is unemployed at the moment, don’t rule him out completely—he may have potential. Find out what his goals are in life, his future dreams and what he’s doing to attain them. Where does he see himself in five years? 10? If the man has it all planned out and is making moves to get it going, chances are, his head is on straight and he just might be a keeper.
Does He Have Children?
As cliché as it sounds, kids really are a big responsibility. Therefore, you need to know if your date has obligations that will have a major impact on his time with you. But be weary girl, if he comes equipped with a house full of little ones, especially ones with a bunch of different mothers, you might want to pull out the cell and fake call one of your homegirls for the getaway.
What Are His Hobbies?
This is one of the most essential questions you absolutely must ask your date! Get to know your potential partner’s interests and hobbies to see if you two share things in common. Even if he’s never attempted the fun little things you do in your spare time, is he open to trying something new? How about yourself? If you don’t share common ground and neither party is interested in trying what the other likes, it’s probably best to make this date your first and your last, because a relationship just wouldn’t make it.
Does He Have A Criminal Background?
A criminal record can tell you a lot about a person’s life and character. So if your date admits to having one, get the scoop on how and why and make the decision on whether or not you want to deal with him. Be fair now; Some people have had hard lives and made not-so-good decisions as a result of this, so try to figure out if he’s learned his lesson and is leading a better life. If he comes clean about committing crimes you can’t overlook, then walk away, but if it’s something small—like a weed bust when he was a freshman in college—you might try to be open about giving the guy a break. And yes, people lie, but still ask (if he answers “no,” but the question makes him squirm, something ain’t right). Plus, you can always do a quick check online.
Does He Live Alone?
It’s good to know if you’ll be able to come over, kick up your feet, and just enjoy his company, or if you’ll be tip-toeing around his crib to keep from waking Grandpa Willy, Uncle Bo-Bo, Aunt Peaches, his boy Peanut, and his momma too! Don’t assume that he’s a grown man living on his own–be on the safe side and ask. If he’s not alone, it’s up to you to decide whether or not you want to be bothered with the roommates or family. Besides, he could always come over to your place!
What’s His Educational Background?
You can pretty much assess a person’s level of intelligence from their conversation, but knowing what level of education they have completed, and the quality of education they have been exposed to, are important when trying to build. Sparking up a convo about higher learning not only tells you if he values education or not, but it can also determine whether you’ll be drawn together or torn apart.
Where Is He From/What’s His Background?
Did he grow up in a single-parent home? Is his family from the Caribbean? Did he experience poverty, or was he born with a silver spoon? Asking where and how your date grew up are not only good conversation starters, but they may even open you up to some things you all have in common. Getting this info can also clue you in on his mentality and the way he views life.
Does He Drink/Smoke?
If you don’t indulge, you may not want to deal with someone who does. If you are a smoker or drinker, is that something you and your date share in common? No? Find out how he feels about people who do drink and smoke. And with the way folks are popping mollys and sipping on the lean nowadays, it might be smart to ask if he’s into all that “extra” stuff.
What Are His Religious Views?
I know most people say religion is too heavy a subject to get into on the first date, but I disagree. It’s extremely important to know how your potential boo views religion, which one he practices (if any) and his relationship with God, especially if you’re a devout (insert religion/beliefs here). Imagine being a singing-in-the-choir, Sunday-schooling, sitting-on-the-church-board kind of gal and dating a God-bashing atheist? Yeah, that probably won’t work.
What Are His Views On Relationships?
Is this man looking for something serious or is he only trying to add you to his collection of “I got the drawers” chicks? Question him about what he wants out of a relationship, the longest one he’s been in, and what he believes are the most important aspects of keeping his partner happy and keeping the love alive. Feel him out, and if you’re lucky, you two will be on the exact same page of the exact same book.