Stop The Madness: Celebs Who Should Leave Twerking Alone

September 11, 2013  |  
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Twerking isn’t just a dance. It’s a cultural phenomena. Somehow in the last several months the stylized butt wiggling and gyrating known as twerking has moved from the dance club to being a favorite among some of Hollywood’s biggest names. But all is not well in the twerk-erverse. While we applaud the effort some celebrities have shown to tap into their inner dance machine, there’s a few that we simply have to call out. Their heart was in the right place, but when it comes down to it, these 14 celebs should just leave the twerking alone.

Miley Cyrus

Topping the offenders list, not surprisingly, is little miss Miley Cyrus. Boy, oh, boy have we come a long way from the days of “Hannah Montana.” Though Miley is certainly not a child any longer and has the right to explore her sexuality, she crossed more than a few lines in her twerk-erific performance at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards. Performing alongside Robin Thicke, Miley grinded, twerked, rubbed and fondled herself into VMA infamy, and not in a captivating way. If you’re going for shock value, at least try not to look like such a hot mess. But with her hair slightly disheveled and wearing an unflattering, skin-tight outfit, Miley’s twerking came off even more desperate and ill-conceived. So Miley we say: Please, just stop.

One Direction’s Harry Styles

Twerking started off as some good, clean fun for boy bander Harry Styles, but it didn’t take long for the singer to completely flip flop on his stance regarding twerking. Maybe things got lost in translation across the pond, but Harry seemed relatively oblivious to some of the sexual undertones of the dance itself. And when he saw Miley shaking it for the world to see on the VMAs, Harry had had enough. He wasted no time condemning twerking, saying: “I think it’s quite inappropriate. Especially for the age group that it’s aimed at. I think it’s, you know, promoting promiscuity.”

For his excessive flip-floppery and holier than though attitude, Harry’s relationship with twerking gets a thumbs down.

Nicki Minaj

Nicki, can we not feed into stereotypes here? It’s not to say that Nicki’s twerking ability is subpar, because it certainly is not. But her twerking was probably the least surprising development in the history of celebrities dancing. With a booty that juicy, there was no doubt she was going to get in on the craze. But Nicki, please don’t relegate yourself to just being that chick with the badonk who can twerk. And we’d appreciate if you’d stop doing that thing where you put your hand between your bent over legs and move it around.

Ashley Tisdale

What is it with these Disney chicks? They are all about shaking what their mama gave them. And Ashley Tisdale is no exception. During an appearance on Sway in the Morning, the High School Musical star held nothing back while she was breaking it down. And as glorious as that was, we implore you to leave it as a one-off. Thankfully, she has not wandered into Miley territory with the frequency of her booty-shaking, but we felt the need to include her on here any way as simple a warning. Girl, you had a good run. Don’t try to top it.

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift twerking. Yup, enough said. Might we suggest writing another angry break up song and leaving the twerking to someone else.

Nicole Scherzinger

We understand life’s been a struggle for the beautiful Nicole Scherzinger. She’s been relegated to reality show limbo, while her music career has, honestly, been less than stellar post-Pussycat Dolls. But her attempts at twerking on social media just feel kind of desperate. We’re not knocking her skills or the obvious sex appeal, but it just doesn’t feel right coming from her.

Vanessa Hudgens

Talk about a former Disney star just trying way too hard. Vanessa Hudgens, much like many of her fellow young stars has gone out of her way to ratchet up the sex appeal and show that she is no longer a child. And what better way to keep that going than to start shaking her assets anywhere she can. And where was anywhere you ask? Well, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno of course. Booty popping in front of a middle-aged man while giggling like a schoolgirl … yeah, not a good look, Vanessa.

Demi Lovato

We’ll be the first to admit it: There’s something about Demi Lovato that we absolutely love. Whether it’s her incredible comeback story or just her likeable personality, it really pains us to include her on any negative list. But, come on, she decided to twerk in a pink tutu. I’m sorry, homie, that certainly earns you a spot on the please leave twerking alone list.

Chris Brown

When will we ever stop making fun of Chris Brown? It’ll probably be a cold day in hell before that happens, but we don’t think anyone could possibly blame us for dropping Breezy on this awful celebrity twerkers list. Aside from his disappointing thrusting, Breezy also wasted no time to jump on the hater train when he saw Rihanna twerking to a song by arch nemeses Drake. Chris, don’t you think it’s about time to let it go, already? You’ve been all up in RiRi’s grill for years now. If the girl wants to twerk, let her twerk and stop trying to weasel your way back into her life.

Miley Cyrus II

She spanked a twerking midget. That is all.

Rihanna

Granted we doled out a lot of criticism to Chris Brown for his Rihanna twerking bashing, but we have to admit that her attempts at shaking it have not been up to snuff for us. Rihanna has made it no secret how comfortable she is with her body and sensuality, so to see her lack of effort in tackling this move was a bit disheartening. Girl, we know you got it in you to knock twerking out the park. Let’s see what you got!

Lil’ Kim

Lil’ Kim’s feeble attempt at being relevant again. Yeah, we’re going to pass.

Coco Austin

Another instance where we were not at all surprised that a celeb would get their twerk on. CoCo Austin wasted no time putting her biggest assets to use, showing off her moves on The Real. And of course if some butt jiggling wasn’t enough, Coco was also subjected to some uncomfortable fondling, courtesy of Adrienne Bailon. We’re certainly not criticizing CoCo’s moves, but a daytime talk show is just too damn early to break out the club moves.

Miley Cyrus III

Where it — largely — all began. She did it in a unicorn costume. ‘Nuff said.

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