Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number — Or Is It? Tips For Dating An Older Gentleman

May 17, 2013  |  
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The dating world can be unpredictable, to say the least! Sometimes there is no telling who you will hit it off with and who you won’t. This means that you may end up dating an older man, without intentionally doing it. If you’re in a relationship with an older guy, there are some definite do’s and don’ts as well as some advice you’ll want to know. Here are 14 tips if you are dating an older man.

Get to know him really well first

It goes without saying that some guys tend to brag about the women that they’re able to bring home with them, and for older guys, there is a stereotype that older men go after younger women for the thrill. This may be true for some older men, but surely not for all of them. Before getting too emotionally invested with the relationship, make sure he wants more than just a friend with benefits.

Don’t focus on his age so much

Yes he’s older than you, and no matter if he’s 5 years older or 10, it doesn’t and shouldn’t make much of a difference to you and hopefully anyone else. Putting too much focus on the age difference between you two can cause an issue in itself. Focus on your relationship opposed to his or your age. Figure out what you two can teach each other and what you can learn as well.

Accept that he’s probably set in his ways

Just like what they say about old dogs and teaching them new tricks, you may find that the guy you’re dating is more set in his ways than most. Older men have had the experience that they want and have found what works best for him. You’ll have to accept the way he does and wants things, or try to come up with a happy medium. Your plot to change him just won’t work well.

Don’t treat the relationship any differently

Even if your friends and family members view the relationship as being different because of your age difference, it doesn’t mean you should as well. No matter how large or small the age gap is, the fact remains that you two are dating for more than just your ages. Don’t let your ages play a big role in the relationship. Treat it like any relationship that you’ve had in the past.

Listen to some of his advice

Older men tend to have a lot of good advice that they are more than willing to share. If your man tells you little bits of advice here and there, take them to heart and store them in the back of your mind. Older men have much more experience than you and have experienced things that you more than likely haven’t. Advice, no matter if it’s relationship-based or not, should always be welcomed.

Accept his chivalry

Compared to younger men, older men tend to be much more chivalrous. You can all but expect him to open doors for you, pull out your chair, hold your hand, and help you in any way possible. If you’re not used to it, you’re in for a wild ride. Finding a man that still practices chivalry is definitely worthwhile. You’ll feel like a princess, even if you aren’t expecting it.

Don’t make yourself the hot young girlfriend

Even if you are truly the hot young girlfriend, you don’t have to live or depict that fact. Take pride in your relationship and leave the age part of it behind. In the end, you’re his girlfriend and he’s your man. While you may be younger than him, don’t let yourself live and dwell in that mindset, or else it can be detrimental. You may find that you almost convince yourself that he’s just with you because of your age. So lose that frame of mind.

Keep a mature attitude

An older man is bound to be a lot more mature and advanced in life than men your age that you’ve dated in the past. In order to really keep up with an older guy and to keep the relationship going, you’ll need to really be able to act and think like a mature woman. Having pouting and whining fits just won’t fly with an older  man. Wise up and find the mature woman in you if you really want things to work out.

Don’t point out the signs of aging

It goes without saying that an older man is bound to have some signs of aging. Whether it’s a wrinkle or gray hair, the main idea here is that if you spot an “aging” sign, don’t point it out to him. He probably already knows about it and pointing it out to him may cause some tension between you two. Sorry ladies, but it’s not wise to call your older man Mr. Grey Fox, it just doesn’t work!

Find mutual likes

Unless you’re able to find a really hip older guy, it may be a bit hard to find things that you two really have in common. However, when it comes to T.V. shows, books, movies, and music, you’re bound to have a connection somewhere. When it comes to the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Nicki Minaj, and the latest celebrity gossip, don’t expect your man to know or care much about it.

Be willing to talk about the past

When you are dating an older man, you may find that he talks a lot about his past, but in a wise and knowledgeable sort of way. If your guy asks you about your past dating experiences or past relationships, don’t be shy to speak up about them. Older men tend to be more interested in the men you’ve experienced and been with in the past so that he can better understand you as a woman and partner.

Find out if he has children

Before things get too serious and overly emotionally involved, you’ll want to find out whether or not your man has any children. With most men who are dads, their children will play a large role in their life. This means that you may sometimes have to take the backseat opposed to front stage. This also means he may have contact with an ex-lover or wife. Make sure you’re okay with his status before moving forward.

Be understanding in the bedroom

Older men more than likely have their preferences when it comes to fun between the sheets. You may find that your guy is less wanting to be experimental than other men you have been with in the past. You may also notice that sex doesn’t happen quite as often as usual, but there is still plenty of fun to be had. To ensure that your bedroom lifestyle doesn’t go downhill, be understanding and open in the bedroom.

Be yourself

Just like with any relationship, to key to being happy with the person you’re dating is to not only accept him, but to be yourself around him. Don’t try to change yourself to fit a mold that you think your guy wants or needs. He is clearly dating you for a reason and that’s because you are you. Don’t change who you are in order to better fit a mold that isn’t the true you.

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