Straight From His Mouth: 10 Marriage Tips From Happily Wed Men That Have Nothing To Do With Sex

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9. The upside to divorce. One friend on his second, and happier, marriage told me the best advice he could give me was to “get a divorce under your belt.” Half-joking and half-serious, he explained that his first marriage in his early 20’s taught him what it really meant to be married. He said he went into his first marriage with ridiculously unrealistic expectations and he and his wife both suffered through the process. In the end, they couldn’t make it work because neither had any real idea of what it meant to be a good husband or wife. Further, and mistakenly, they were both convinced it was the other person’s responsibility to change. Older, wiser, and more mature, he is happy and confident he won’t make the same mistakes the second time around. So, the moral of the story is if we want a happy marriage, some of us might need to get an unhappy marriage out of the way first.

10. It’s us versus the problem. One of my favorite tips came from one happily married man’s philosophy on maintaining a happy marriage, “it’s us versus the problem.” In his marriage, he and his wife have made a conscious effort to ensure it’s always them versus the problem instead of it ever being a case of him versus her.  It sounds idealistic, but it’s proven very effective for them over the years. Regardless of the issue, in their marriage it’s always a team effort. This means whenever they have a fight, it’s not them fighting each other, it’s them fighting to resolve the problem, together.

Now I’ll turn it over to you.

Ladies, what’s missing from this list that women need for a happy marriage? Fellas, what advice have your happily married friends given you? What personal advice or philosophy do you plan to follow when you get married? If divorced, did you learn anything you’ll apply in your next marriage or would warn/share with others before they get married?

WisdomIsMisery aka WIM uses his background as an internal auditor to provide objective, yet opinionated, qualitative and quantitative analysis on life, love, and everything in between. As a Scorpio, many women wish death on WIM and some have attempted to hasten its arrival. WIM is not a model, a model citizen, or a role model. See more of WIM on his weekly write-ups for SBM, on Twitter @WisdomIsMisery, and Instagram: WisdomIsMisery.

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