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It seemed like at the beginning of this year, every other person on Facebook was complaining about the implementation of the new “timeline” feature. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this; but when Facebook makes a change, it’s a permanent one. I was one of the few people who opted to convert my page to the timeline function before the final, mandatory switch. What I like the most about the timeline feature is that it highlights key life moments, without having to dig through countless photo albums, status updates and old viral videos.

Just the other day I was on my cousin’s page, looking at her son, my new baby cousin, when I noticed how the major events in her life all happened back to back to back, from 2009 to 2012. Like a lot of women, my cousin, having already achieved relative success in her career, was ready to take the next step in having it all and become a wife and mother.

In 2012, she had her son.

She was married in 2011.

In 2010 she got engaged.

And in 2009, her timeline shared “the secret,” the catalyst to her gaining all of the things she’d wanted since childhood.

This is what she wrote in 2009: I’m officially sick and tired of being single. I’ve had enough “me time”… gotta get back out there.

That same year she met her husband on eHarmony. Being the first person in our family to find love online, we were all curious. “What made you decide to sign up for online dating.” My cousin lives across the country so I didn’t exactly grow up with her, or have the opportunity to spend time with her. But I learned something from her response.

“I just figured that if I wanted to be in a relationship, I needed to be able to say that I had tried everything in my power to be in one.”

That’s real.

I like Facebook’s timeline because it taught me a few valuable lessons. One, if you want something don’t be afraid to say it. There are so many women out here, myself included at times, who are afraid to say that want to be in a relationship for fear that it makes them look desperate. But there’s power in the words we utter. Biblically, some of us have heard that the power of life and death lies in the tongue; so certainly the power to alter our moods, our outlook, our life situations can be found in our words and our positive energy.

But the second lesson wasn’t that my cousin was just out here blowing hot air, she took the initiative to put action behind her assertions. I would assume that she probably never thought she’d end up dating online; but in this instance, it ended up being the gateway to her future husband and father of her child. How many of us have complained about being single but spend every weekend on the couch, watching movies and eating ice cream, or turning our noses up every time someone even hints at the idea of online dating? A lot of times, we let our comfort zones keep us from achieving the things we claim we want. And this doesn’t just apply to relationships; your dreams, career goals and deepest desires are often just a step out of the comfort zone.

What is your timeline going to look like in a couple years from now?

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