Single Black Male: Why Do Men Mislead Women?

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The Difference Between a Deceitful Man and an Honest Man

The fact of the matter is that most men don’t want to bear a burden greater than themselves. They figure if they provide you with the truth, then you should be able to manage the emotional side independent of them or the status of your relationship together. To be fair, they think this way because that is how men operate. The problem is, as anyone who has interacted with the opposite sex will confirm, men and women don’t think the same way. Furthermore, a friend pointed out to me that many women (and men) will only pay attention to the communication that best aligns with what they want.

This means if his words don’t match his actions, they believe his actions. If his actions don’t match his words, they believe his words. This doesn’t make a lot of sense. You shouldn’t have to pick and choose between the communication style that best fits what you want. His actions and his words should match. There shouldn’t be a great divide between the two that leads to confusion. If you’re confused about your place in a man’s life, your confusion is likely justified.

It should go without saying but communication is key. A good relationship shouldn’t feel like you’re trying to solve the Da Vinci Code. Getting back to the original question, I wouldn’t introduce a random woman to my parents because this particular action means a lot to me (I’m old school). On the other hand, I wouldn’t hesitate to introduce her to my friends because that isn’t as big a deal to me. Another man might feel the complete opposite; maybe the opinions of his friends are more important than his parents. Who knows!

You shouldn’t have to guess your status in a man’s life. This is exactly why should you ask rather than assume. This isn’t a free license to overwhelm the man of interest in your life with questions, but you also shouldn’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind either. However, if you’ve never had a discussion on where you stand, it isn’t safe to assume anything. The fact that he introduced you to his parents (or performed any other number of actions you deem important) only means something if he agrees. For him, it might mean everything or it might mean nothing at all.

WisdomIsMisery aka WIM uses his formal training as an internal auditor to provide objective, yet opinionated, qualitative and quantitative analysis on life, love, and everything in between. As a Scorpio, many women wish death on WIM and some have attempted to hasten its arrival. WIM is not a model, a model citizen, or a role model. See more of WIM on his weekly write-ups for SBM and on Twitter @WisdomIsMisery.

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