The 8 Men Who Will Break Your Heart

April 5, 2012  |  
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You are going to feel like a fool many, many times in your life when it comes to love. You’re going to lose sleep trying to decode the guy whose been dragging you along—who loved you one day and ignored you the next. Every guy will seem unique to you but, it’s actually easier if you know this: They’re all the same. Or rather, the men that break your heart will seem like the same and most likely fall into one of the following categories.

The forever child
There is something refreshing about dating a bartender. A server. A messenger. The guy who drives the tour boat at your local harbor. They’re so stress free. When they get off work they are off work, so you get 110% of their attention. But if you encourage them to move forward with their career, you crush their ego. They only want you around when you let them pretend that everything is okay, and that they don’t need to take on any challenges. They want an enabler for their forever child lifestyle. It will break your heart when they start to make you feel like a Debbie downer for bringing up real life, when they used to look at you like a child looking at a fudge shop.

The new career man
Find a man whose starting to make his dreams come true and has an entry level position at a company he’s always dreamed about working at? Terrific! For him. For you, that means the mood swings and insecurities that come with being the rookie at an office. Your man will feel like a fool ten times a day as he messes up, is reprimanded by bosses, and is reminded of his status at the bottom of the ladder. His lack of confidence will make its way into your relationship, manifesting in ways like avoided sex because he’s exhausted for can’t concentrate. Other times, he won’t really feel like talking. Why? Because, he doesn’t feel like a man yet. It will break your heart to see how low his confidence is, and how his new job has drained him of all the energy that he used to spend on you.

The heartbroken
Women love a challenge, and when a man tells a woman “I’m done with love” she takes it upon herself to change that. The man who went through some horrible heartbreak and has a defense mechanism has decided to be a “playboy,” claiming to be heartless. And for that, you will love his rogue behavior and try to turn him. It will break your heart to wait around for months, even years, only to discover that he still never opened up to you once—and is still dating three other people.

The first time boyfriend
Men who have never really had a serious relationship before act like children with a first puppy when they get in one. They’re thrilled to have the fun times, the affection, the cuteness, but when the responsibility kicks in, they’re asking, “Where the hell did this come from?” If you’re the first real girlfriend for a man, he’ll look at you with adoring eyes, and then terrified ones when you ask him to accompany you to a work party. He couldn’t possibly ditch the guys for the very night you need him, right? Right. It will break your heart to know that he loves you, but wasn’t ready for the responsibility.

The guy with issues
With this guy, you’ll have a fast track, passionate romance. You’ll say I love you within a month. You’ll be talking of marriage within three. And then suddenly, he’ll be having breakdowns and locking himself in his room. Or yelling at you. Or hitting the bottle…or you. Guys with issues—trust issues, psychological issues, you name it—tend to rush relationships, hoping that if they move fast enough their issues can’t catch up. It will break your heart to realize that only a psychologist can help him, and that he’s in no place to be in a relationship.

The far away man
We all give long distance love a go at some point. It’s so romantic and exciting. Each time we drive or fly to see him is like a mini vacation. But, one trip has to get cancelled because something important comes up, or one too many celebrations are spent without him, and you realize that the relationship is just not sustainable. You’re not moving to him. He’s not moving to you. It will break your heart to realize that sometimes, love is not all you need. You need money for airfare, train fare, gas and even tolls to keep this relationship going. Better to leave your bags unpack and let this one go.

The living in the moment man
He’s similar to the forever child but, this one is hard to catch. He disappears for a week or more, but when he calls you to see you he means it. He craves you. And as angry as you were moments before, waiting by the phone, you can’t deny him. He is exciting. Every time you see him, the night is an adventure full of thrills you never experience otherwise. You think that since he is so passionate about you when he does see you, eventually he’ll feel that way about you all the time. It will break your heart to realize this man is far too distracted to ever focus on you for a prolonged period of time. He’s just always looking for the next adventure or shiniest new toy. And you’re only shiny to him after he gets distance from you.

The taken
Everyone dabbles at being the other woman some point. Whether it’s with a married man or just one who has a girlfriend, we all (okay, many of us) buy into the “But I’m not happy with her” line and wait for him to come around. Eventually, we all realize we’ve just enabled this man to be completely selfish—to have his cake and eat it too—while we literally sit at home eating an entire cake. Why? He had to cancel our weekend together since his wife/girlfriend decided to stay in town.

 

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