'Where Did Grandma Go' Children's Book Explores Grief And Loss
‘Where Did Grandma Go?’ — Chantal Rochelle’s Heartfelt Children’s Book Helps Grieving Hearts Of All Ages [Exclusive]
At some point, grief has the power to cause a ripple effect in our lives, regardless of our age.
Following her mother’s passing, Chantal Rochelle found her young niece grappling to come to terms with such a magnitude of loss. This prompted her to develop the idea of writing a children’s book, Where Did Grandma Go?, to help young (and not so young) people learn to cope with the shift that comes with losing someone you love.
“It’s such a personal story,” she told MadameNoire. “My mother transitioned in 2019, and when that happened, my whole world shifted. I remember watching my sister, particularly my niece, try to understand it all. I mean, she was only 3 at the time. I saw how confused and heartbroken she was because she and my mom were thick as thieves. I also saw how deeply curious she was. She’s very intuitive herself. She had all these big questions, and there was no easy way to answer something so impactful.”
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Rochelle added, “I realized that there weren’t any stories to talk to her, I won’t say there weren’t any, but even for me, in that moment, writing this book from a child’s perspective, rather, allowed me to honor her innocence and her honesty and just intrinsic, curious wonder that she has and has always had. Children grieve in real time with wonder and kind of like directness, and I wanted to meet that with tenderness, space, compassion, truth, and just honesty, as best as possible. I gravitate so dearly towards children, I think just with having this curious wonder that reminds me of just being a kid and having the world as your oyster, and having, again, this eye and lens of just purity.”
Rochelle also needed to tell a story about loss and grief through the eyes of her niece, even involving her in the creative process for the colors used throughout the book’s illustrations, including what her hair, clothes, etc. looked like. Not only did the project bring them closer together, but Rochelle admits that it was very cathartic.
With her niece as the muse for the book, Rochelle says that she was very much the heart of the story, always finding ways to tune in with her grandmother in a different realm –an ability that children aren’t often given enough credit for.
“The way she looked for signs that my mom was still close… the moon, the butterflies, you name it, little things that carry meaning. It really guided how I approached the story,” she explained. “She reminded me that kids feel everything deeply, even if they don’t have the words or the language to make sense of it. So I wrote Where Did Grandma Go? To give them that language in a way that’s gentle, but honest. Comforting, but real, like, ‘Hey, I’m honoring that I feel this way today, honoring that I have it. I feel good or I feel bad,’ or what have you.”
As much as this is a story for children, Rochelle notes that if you read between the lines, there’s a thing or two in it for adults too.
“Grief doesn’t have an age limit, okay? And neither does healing, right? I hope grown folks see this book as a permission to feel it all, to cry, to laugh, to remember, to retrospect, like whatever it looks like and however it shows up for you,” said Rochelle.
“Sometimes we’re so busy being strong for everyone else that we forget to nurture our own broken pieces,” she continued.
“Our own broken puzzle pieces that we’re trying to put together each and every day. Sometimes, second by second. I want adults to read this and feel seen. To know that grief can be full of love, light, questions, and confusion, and that is totally okay. Honor that, honor your flow, like I’ve said before, I wanted this book to be a place where I give my grief a place to rest; comfort it, hold it, sit with it, honor it. I feel like when you don’t feel it, if you don’t manage your grief, it will manage you and so staying on top of it. I think this is kind of what I want this tool to be for adults as well.”
Moreover, Rochelle recalls the moments where she’s had clear signs from her mother that she needed to bring this book into fruition. She also revealed that as much as her niece is infused throughout the pages of the story, so is her mother.
“Everything is intentional in the illustrations,” said Rochelle. “You’ll see on one of the first pages, ‘It’s another blessed day.’ That was in her voicemail. That was what she said to everyone when she answered the phone. ‘It’s another blessed day.’ And so she was like, ‘Don’t forget my little nuances, or stuff like that. She would be so intricately, beautifully woven into the DNA of this book.”
She recalled, “There was a moment where I had a really intense, emotional day with my grief, and I was crying and very heavy. I see my niece calling me; it was my sister. I didn’t know it was my niece then, and I heard her on the other end. She goes, ‘Why are you crying?’ How does she know this? And so I feel like my mother is just so hands-on in the process of this, but also in the process of my life. That’s what I want other people to take away from this: your loved one is so beautifully woven into your life. They see everything. They get everything. They’re not missing out. People will ask me: ‘What do you think your mom would think of this book?’ I’m like, she wrote it. She’s my co-writer, she’s my co-author.”
Where Did Grandma Go? is currently available for pre-order here.
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