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Young mother father and infant riding city bus

Source: Tony Anderson / Getty

This post only applies to single mothers who were never married and find themselves on an emotional rollercoaster with the father of their child or children. It is intended to be the swift kick in the behind your family and friends have been trying to give you for the better for months—maybe even years.

Most women do not plan or desire to hold the baby-mama title. But, with a 73 percent out-of-wedlock birthrate, nearly three-fourths of black mothers fit the mold. That makes the handling of “baby-daddies” a real issue in our community. Sex is generally an emotional act for women and those emotions are often magnified during pregnancy and continue into motherhood. And what is a hormonally complicated time becomes more emotionally complex when the situation gets real—he’s with other women, he’s too busy to visit more than a few times a month, he’s maybe even hoping you might go for an abortion–the list goes on.

Angry, confused, desperate—some single mothers entertain foolishness that only ends up eating away at their self-worth and esteem in the end.

So to save yourself (or a friend) from further heartache and/or catching a case, here are eight of the biggest mistakes to avoid:

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