Everything can be going great—the two of you are on cloud 9, you’re totally smitten, you never hesitate to send a cute text, you never question one another’s feelings and then…the relationship killer sets in: insecurity. Which always leads to paranoia. There is no knowing if or when it will come, but if you think it has, look out for these signs:
He is checking your email/phone
This is a big one. There is just no excuse for your guy to be checking your email or phone. No reason. And don’t let him pull that “why are you so upset? Do you have something to hide?” BS. If a man is checking your emails and texts, he has completely lost his sense of trust in the relationship.
He interrogates you about your male friends
You bump into an old male friend when you’re out with your guy, you introduce the two, and suddenly you get an interrogation. Where did you guys meet? How often do you hang out? Is he single? Do you think maybe he likes you more than a friend? Any guy is a threat. Any. In your guy’s head, that is.
He has a lot of questions in general
He calls “just to say hi” when you’re out with your friends. It starts with a simple “where are you all headed?” and then goes into “what’s the crowd like there?” and “how much have you had to drink?” and “what time are you leaving that bar?” and “it’s 10:08 and you said you’d be out of there by 10.” He takes any “crack” in your story as an opportunity to become suspicious.
He is interpreting things in the worst possible way
You forget to introduce your guy to another man you’re talking to and suddenly, “you obviously wanted him to think that you were single.” You don’t hold his hand enough at a party and once again “you want other guys to think they have a chance with you.” His brain is on the lookout for signs of meandering tendencies, and he reads everything as such.
He is siding with your parents
Your parents tell you you’re dressing too provocatively, they get a certain tone in their voice when you mention you’re hung over, they think one of your friends is too wild—fine. They are parents. But, when your man tries to ride their coattails and sides with them every time they say something like this, he is trying to lock you up.
He wants to stay in more
He might just be a homebody who is so content cuddling on the couch with you and he doesn’t feel the need to go out. But, if every time you even mention going out he gets a look on his face like he smelled something nasty and says “why do we need to do that?” he pretty much thinks everyone out at the bars are sleazes, and that you don’t need to be socializing with anyone other than him. And that’s crazy.
He dislikes your liberated friends
Your feminist friend, your friend who parties a lot, your friend who encourages you to buy the wild dresses that are a little out of your usual style—he tells you they are a “bad influence.”