Things Men Got Away With In The Past That Are Not OK In The Present

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sexual harassment

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Inviting you somewhere under false pretenses

I can’t count the number of coffee or lunch dates I went on with guys who said they wanted to hear more about my work, or see if we could collaborate, or wanted to pick my brain about our industry that turned out to be real dates. But that’s not what I’d said yes to. Only when the conversation went everywhere besides work, and particularly towards flirty comments, did I realize I’d been tricked. Afterward, I felt dumb. I felt like I should have seen that coming. That was, again, the sensibility that “boys will be boys” and we just have to prepare for that/fight that off. I should have said, firmly, “You brought me here under false pretenses” and left. Instead, I politely endured a date I didn’t agree to go on.

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