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love languages how to express

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Any man who thinks women are materialistic can bite his tongue after hearing about new research that shows quite the opposite. A survey done by Zulily found that, when asked what they really want as a present from a partner, most women didn’t say anything about jewelry or gift cards or even vacations. What do they really want? Quality time with their partners, along with quality alone time. And that time doesn’t need to involve glitz, glamor, or Dom Pérignon. In fact, the survey found that many women consider quality time with a partner to mean simply being in the same room while doing separate activities. As for how much women value alone time, a significant percentage said they’d give up their PTO for it, and when asked what they wanted for their birthdays, many just wanted to be left alone for a little while.

This survey brings into question what we know about love languages and how we express them. Maybe acts of service don’t need to involve giving a massage but rather just taking out the trash more. Perhaps words of affirmation don’t need to be “you’re perfect” so much as “you do a good job as a mother.” And spending time together can look less like hiring a personal chef for the evening and more like doing separate crossword puzzles on the same couch. Based on this survey, we’ve come up with some acts of love anyone looking for a new way to spoil their partner can try this Valentine’s Day or just any time of the year. Most of these do not cost money but will be worth more than you can imagine to the woman in your life.

love languages how to express

Source: Westend61 / Getty

Take the kids out for the day

I have a friend who has children and she and her husband do this very smart thing: every Saturday, one of the parents gets up in the morning and takes the kids out for a full day of activities. The other parent can sleep as long as they want, and then have the house to themselves for a few hours. They alternate every weekend. But just knowing that day is coming of sleeping in and having the home to herself my friend says is a saving grace for her mental health. It is granted a bit more difficult during a pandemic, but you can still take children for a walk, to a beach, to a park to play, or to enjoy some outdoor activities that are socially distanced.

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