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It’s easy to forget that each and every one of us is a part of a delicate ecosystem, whether we want to be or not. Everything we do, good or bad, causes a chain reaction for the very reason that there are people who care about us. There are also people who rely on us. And there are people who do both things – rely on us and care about us. Often, we have loved ones like friends and family members who don’t even realize how much they count on us to behave a certain way. It’s all a part of an unspoken and even overlooked stitching in the fabric of our dynamic. But it is fragile, and any time you make a change – even when it’s a change for the better – the impact doesn’t stop at just your immediate experience.
When you decide to do the difficult work required for personal growth, you might expect those around you to just support, encourage, and understand you – maybe even praise you for it. But, you might be surprised that you don’t always get the reaction you’d hoped for. Remember, again, you’re part of a delicate ecosystem and, to some degree, your old family dynamics thrived because you didn’t do your personal work. And that’s about to change. We spoke with two mental health experts about ways and reasons your family might resist your personal growth. Dr. Ebony and Dr. Jessica Jackson gave us some insight on this important topic.
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You’re changing the script
Both experts touch on the fact that, when you change, that naturally triggers a change in how others will interact with you. In a sense, you’re changing the script that they’ve long been comfortable reading. You’re casting yourself in a new role and as a result, everyone else takes on new roles, too.
Dr. Ebony says, ‘”Your growth can be a threat to your family due to them being used to interacting with you in a particular way. Growth changes you as a person and the person they are used to interacting with is no longer there. Therefore, they have to change the way in which they interact with the new you, and this can be extremely uncomfortable.”
