Assessing someone’s level of emotional maturity isn’t always easy. Some undesirable behaviors don’t immediately present themselves, and the early days of a relationship don’t require much emotional maturity. You aren’t typically tackling big issues or handling major life changes in the first few months of dating somebody new. You keep things light and fun. It’s all dinners and cocktails and weekend getaways. Unless something unexpected happens, it’s rare that someone’s emotional maturity is really called into question. Sure, you may see your date be a little short-tempered over getting the wrong order at a restaurant or being a bit petty about a fight with a friend. But everyone can get that way, sometimes – even generally emotionally mature individuals.
It’s typically only later in a relationship when people stop being on their best behavior and couples are faced with bigger challenges – like living together or meeting each other’s families – that true emotional maturity reveals itself. But wouldn’t it be nice if you could determine someone’s emotional maturity a bit earlier? And wouldn’t it be valuable to be able to assess your relationship’s overall emotional maturity? We spoke with a certified dating coach and host of “The Dates and Mates” podcast Damona Hoffman about subtle signs of emotional maturity.
How do mature couples handle conflict?
We asked Hoffman how emotionally mature couples handle conflict. She said, “Emotionally mature couples deal with conflicts before they become arguments and tend to approach conflict from the point of view of both people in the relationship being on the same team and working towards a shared goal of resolution.”