One major downside to your father making your virginity public knowledge is the fact that there will be some people who will wonder if you’re still one, when they might have never thought about your sexual experience or lack thereof before. Even worse, there will be others, creeps as they can appropriately be called, who won’t see the inappropriateness or shame in actually asking you about it because it’s been made public knowledge. Deyjah Harris is really tired of the latter.
The 19-year-old shared to her Instagram Stories this weekend her answer to a question posed by a follower. The individual asked “So are you still a virgin?” to which she basically said enough is enough.
“bra…lol..y’all literally ask me this every time as if my answer is just gonna suddenly change after a week or so,” she said. “i really didn’t even wanna answer this .. but then i started overthinking ‘well if I keep ignoring it, they might think i’m not one anymore’ but honestly, f–k it lol. like who really gives a damn fr fr lol (meaning who gives a damn if y’all think I’m not one anymore, why am i so worried, etc.)”
“it’s the last and final time I’ll answer this question though … hopefully i shouldn’t have to keep saying ‘yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes’ repeatedly” she added. “trust me, it’s not gonna just happen by next year or something. i am not ready to do anything like that yet (it’s always good to be self-aware so that you know what you are or aren’t ready for .. you’ll know what you will or won’t put up with, you’ll know your boundaries, etc.) so i’m goodddd”
Last November, T.I. shared on a podcast that he would take her to the gynecologist every year after her birthday to make sure, via a hymen check, that she was still a virgin.
“So we’ll go and sit down and the doctor will come and talk and the doctor’s maintaining a high level of professionalism,” the rapper said at the time. “He’s like, ‘You know sir, I have to, in order to share information’ — I’m like, ‘Deyjah they want you to sign this so we can share information. Is there anything you would not want me to know? See doc? No problem.’ And so then they come and say, ‘Well I just want you to know that there are other ways besides sex that the hymen can be broken like bike riding, athletics, horseback riding and just other forms of athletic physical activity.’ So I say, ‘Look doc, she don’t ride no horses, she don’t ride no bike, she don’t play no sports. Just check the hymen please and give me back my results expeditiously.'”
There was plenty of uproar following his revelation. Deyjah even briefly deleted her social media accounts to avoid the situation. Their relationship would be impacted by it as well.
And while T.I. has seemingly said all he wants to say about the matter (and doesn’t appreciate people’s opinions on it at all), it’s unfortunate to see that Deyjah is still dealing with the consequences of her father’s actions. Maybe guys inquired in the past (she did say there were some grown men in her DMs whens he was still underage), but it’s hard to believe that the fact that she’s now asked on an almost weekly basis doesn’t have something to do with the controversy. Had her father never spoken on the matter as what he considered to be a comical anecdote on his parenting experiences, she likely wouldn’t find so many people who feel like it’s their business to know the status on her sexual experiences. That is the part T.I. doesn’t get when he takes criticisms of his comments as attacks on his abilities as a father. The effects of it all still pop up on her social media, and one can only imagine what she has to face when she encounters immature people in everyday life as a young college student.
While T.I. can make himself a victim and come up with whatever stories he likes about simply going “above and beyond” for his daughter, it doesn’t change the fact that he made her body, her hymen at that, a topic of conversation for the world. It’s his job to protect her, as her father, not just physically, but her peace as well. That’s what makes the situation so incredibly unfair and…icky, nearly a year later.