You should be able to share anything with your partner, kind of. There’s value in choosing the right medium for any message. Ideally, you marry someone with whom you feel you can share any thought, fear, concern, or insecurity. Hopefully, you feel it’s safe to speak up when your needs aren’t being addressed, or if you’re worried about something. But, if we are able to have some tact, choose our words wisely, and consider how the message is received in other areas of our lives – like our careers – then why shouldn’t we do the same in our love lives? Doing some thinking and preparing before sharing information with a loved one doesn’t mean you don’t feel safe sharing. It just means recognizing that everyone has a different past, different traumas, and different lenses through which they see information.
We spoke with blended family expert and relationship coach Aria Craig about how couples can share information with each other in a constructive way that protects the feelings of those involved. Aria Craig is the author of the award-winning “Single Mother Diaries” series and coaches clients on how to thrive in the three most important aspects of life: parenting, career, and relationships. She is also working on the last stage of becoming a certified holistic mental health coach.
In this interview with Craig, we focus on ways men and women can better understand how the opposite sex feels heard and appreciated so partners can adjust their communication strategies accordingly. You can follow Craig on Instagram @Aria.Craig for more relationship advice.
Understanding inverse love languages
“You need to talk about love languages. A lot of times that’s where that [being able to share openly] fits in,” says Craig. “A lot of times, [partners’] love languages are the opposite of each other. Women feel disconnected when their partner isn’t communicating. Men feel disconnected when their partner is not having sex with them. Sex can be how they release from stress. We [women] release from stress by talking things through.”