Should You Buy A House Before You Find A Partner?

July 22, 2020  |  
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buying a home now

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When my husband and I were house hunting, we ran into an acquaintance looking at the same townhouse we were interested in. I didn’t know at the time if she was single or not. I’d just met her at a few parties. But, with her, at the open house, was an attractive man about her age, making notes to her about the space. “Is this your boyfriend?” I asked. “No…This is my realtor” she said. “Oh! Are you buying a place…alone?” I asked. “Yup,” she said, dryly. Well, I had just been a totally backwards-thinking, un-feminist idiot. It had never even occurred to me that she’d be buying a place on her own. I felt so stupid. Also, good on her to be able to afford a place on her own! Part of my assumptions had nothing to do with societal norms, but just financial realities. The townhouse was no budget buy and I, personally, could not have afforded it on my own. I needed a partner to go in on half of the down payment with me. Was it un-feminist of me to not immediately assume she could pay for it all herself? Ugh. I don’t know. I’ve had to assess my thinking a lot on that interaction. But, nonetheless, it really got me thinking after. Huh – she is a single woman, in her late thirties, and she’s decided to purchase a home. A rather serious decision. And she hasn’t yet found her life partner. It was fascinating, really. There goes my possibly old fashioned brain again. I always associated home-buying with building a…family? It got me thinking, and talking to other women who are buying homes, alone: should you buy a house before you’ve met your partner?

buying a home now

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A future partner may want to buy a place

There is the reality that, if and when you do meet someone with whom you’d like to share your life one day, he may want to buy a place. It’s natural for couples who are progressing to want to put down roots like that, together. Then, of course, you’re in this weird situation where…you already own a place. You may think, “So I’ve already handled that for us!” But he may feel robbed of the chance to house shop with a partner.

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