How Moving For His Work Affects Your Relationship
If you marry someone who has to move a lot for work, the idea can at first be exciting. There are a lot of places in the country—and world—you’ve always wanted to see, and your partner’s job may give you the opportunity to see those. Maybe his work will even cover the moving costs. Life is an adventure, after all, and you never believed that it would be predictable. You like to think that your relationship can handle every change life throws at it, like major financial adjustments, sick loved ones, sex droughts, and the whole slew of troubles every couple faces when they’ve been together for a long time. But the nomadic lifestyle is a very unique one, and it’s not a lifestyle that every relationship is built to survive. Or, at the very least, you may just survive, but not thrive. Here is how moving a lot for his work can affect your relationship.
You can’t really buy property because you’ll never live somewhere long enough to build equity on the place. Unless you’re fortunate enough to have enough to buy a house in full, without needing a loan, there’s not really any point in buying a house. You’ll be perpetual renters.
Difficulty making close friends
You have a hard time developing close friendships. Building meaningful friendships takes times, and you just don’t spend much time in any one place. You have a lot of friends, but not many great friends.
Nobody wants to invest in you
It’s actually difficult to make couples friends in general because not many couples want to invest in you, when they know you’ll just leave.
Resentment from your kids
If you have children, they can be quite resentful of the lifestyle. Making friends as a child is very difficult, and finding one’s place in a new school can feel like an uphill battle every time.
The cost of living in each place you live can vary drastically. In some areas, you may get to go out to dinner and the movies several nights a week while in other places you need to live on a shoestring budget.
You can’t get a solid job
You cannot get a solid job. You have to pursue part time, or telecommuting work only. You do a lot of freelance and project-based work, but you don’t get to move up at a company.
You’re never part of a community
You and your partner never really feel like part of a community. You never develop those relationships that mean a free appetizer at that restaurant you always frequent, or a network of people you can rely on for a variety of things.
Your family is too far
Sometimes, a move can place your family very far away—too far. You may go from seeing them monthly to seeing them once a year.
Or family is too close
Sometimes, a move puts his or your family too close. This has its pros and cons, depending on how you feel about said family.
There’s some sense of adventure
You do get to fulfill your sense of adventure. You never grow bored with any one place you live. You satisfy your urge to explore and get to know different areas and cultures.
Repeated where-to-live arguments
You get to have the very fun argument of where to live, over and over again. You have to dispute which apartment or house to rent on a regular basis.
Repeated home-making arguments
You also get to have those decorating and home-making arguments over and over again. Building a home can cause disputes, and you build a new home often.
Bittersweet childhood friendships
Sometimes, a move means getting to live near your old childhood friends, which is lovely. But leaving them is very painful. Sometimes you think it would be easier to stay in one place than to go through this emotional roller coaster.
You’re always a little lost
You and your partner never get to know the ins and outs of a city, like the good neighborhoods and the bad, the places to get a deal on this or that, and the special holiday events that only life-long residents know about.
It tests your bond
This lifestyle will certainly test your bond. Your relationship needs to survive on a connection that cannot be altered by surroundings or circumstances. You need to be able to be happy no matter where you are or who surrounds you.