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a side piece

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It’s hard to believe that anyone could have sex on the brain that much during a pandemic. As it stands, I have almost no sex drive during this situation. I’ve just got too much on my mind. I’m stressed. But, then again, sex is something many people use to deal with stress. And also, the term players will be players stands strong even through a national crisis. I’ve had a couple of friends joking, “I kinda feel bad for men with side pieces right now because they’re stuck at home with their live-in partner and can’t sneak off.” First off, nobody should be feeling bad for these fools. And second off, they’ll still find a way. They always find a way. They’ve already proven they have no ethics and can be plenty scrappy, by having a side piece in the first place. Those two qualities will see these imbeciles through the pandemic.


If you did suspect that your partner may have been dabbling in something outside of the relationship, it’s not safe to assume that’s over, just because you’re all locked inside. If there’s a history of infidelity or you sniffed something out before, know that these stressful times may have your partner looking for even more reasons to stray. And if he does, really, just kick him out of your peaceful quarantine sanctuary. He can go crash on a friend’s couch during this and enjoy that. Here are signs a man is talking to his sidepiece during quarantine.


Now he never leaves his phone’s side

He’s extremely attached to his phone. He never leaves it on a kitchen table or couch or side table for even a second. If he realizes he’s almost done this, he rapidly backtracks, swoops it up, and puts it in his pocket. On the rare occasion he’s misplaced his phone, he became panicked, and aggravated, accusing you of putting it somewhere.

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