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a codependent person

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Nobody wants to be alone. Having somebody is obviously better than being alone. But it’s important that that somebody is right for you, and not just anybody to fill the void. This is something I’ve told multiple of my friends, countless times, who seem to do a lot of relationship hopping. They’ll be in hysterics, crying, fearing they’ll never be happy again one day and then the next day…telling me all about this new guy they’re seeing. Huh? Did I miss something? They were just completely torn up about somebody else. I’d love to call it resilience, but it’s not—it’s fear of being alone.


“That was fast,” I’ll say. “Glad we could get you over that heartache so quickly…all that ice cream and Thai food I brought over must have really helped!” I’ll add that bit sarcastically, just to remind her that I took a lot of time and energy to help her with her recent “heartache” and it seems like it wasn’t that serious after all. A little annoying as the friend in the situation. “I don’t like to be single,” she replied, sheepishly.



Nobody likes to be single—that’s what I told my friend. When people are single, it’s not necessarily because they love it, but rather because they A) are confident and stable enough to remain single while they B) are looking for a good match and not just any match. My friend doesn’t quite see the problem yet with frantically jumping from one relationship to the next. But, that fear of being alone—it’s one of the biggest things we need to tackle in life if we’ll ever be happy. Everyone has that fear. Not everyone overcomes it. But if you don’t, it can rule your life aka ruin it. It’s a very powerful fear.


It feeds on-again-off-again things

If you are in one of those terrible, energy sucking, emotionally brutal on-again-off-again relationships, it’s likely because you’re afraid of being alone. Once you find someone who will always take you back, that’s a very addicting thing for someone who is afraid of being alone. But those relationships stunt your growth and ruin your self-esteem.

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