If you have gone through multiple breakups in the last year—or even the last half a year—I am sorry for the turbulence. If you’re always ending some relationship that you really thought would take off, I do feel bad for that pain. But, I gotta say, I’m also really sorry for your friends. I might be more sorry for them, than for you. Any time we go through a breakup, our friends rally around us, providing support, taking us out, cheering is up, calling us every day to make sure we aren’t just binge watching “Friends” and buying sweaters for our pets in bulk. They make it their job to be there for us.
Likewise, when we’re starting a new relationship about which we’re excited, our friends rally, again. They meet the guy. They hear all about it. They get excited for us. They become hopeful for us. Now, you can imagine that, if your friends are having to do this regularly—rallying around you either to help you get over a breakup or get excited about a new guy—they can get a bit tired of it. There is an unspoken understanding amongst friends that, we really only have so much to give regarding each other’s relationships and breakups. And relationship-hoppers (also known as serial monogamists) really take advantage of their friends’ sympathies to the fullest.
So even though your friends want to be there for you, they probably didn’t think that this entire friendship would be about being there for you. And when you are someone who struggles with some relationship addiction, constantly in the throws of a breakup or relationship fight, your friends can begin to feel like, “What do I even get out of this? I’m her therapist basically.” Here’s why it’s hard on your friends when you’re a relationship-hopper.
You’re either discussing the new relationship
When you get together with your friends, there is a 50 percent chance the entire conversation is about your new relationship. You want to talk all about what makes this guy great for you, the sex, the cute dates, the cute texts, and how hopeful you are about things. When you’re in a new relationship, it’s all you want to talk about, and you’re usually in a new relationship.