Why His Sex Drive Dips When Yours Rises

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sex drive increase

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All men want is sex. That’s the message I was told about men since I was old enough to know what sex was (and maybe a little earlier). I wanted to wear little crop tops and animal print clothes starting at age 10 because that’s what the Spice Girls wore, but my mom would say, “Don’t give men the wrong idea” and I had no idea what she meant. What idea? I grew up, and I got the idea. There are those rumors about men thinking about sex every 15 seconds. There are those movies and shows in which women withhold sex from their partners as a form of gaining control. I was lead to believe that men just foam at the mouth over the idea of sex.


Now all of that that I just said has its time and place. Young women who are still learning to respect themselves, and who are still figuring out what they want in a partner and what it means to have a partner respect them—they should know that a lot of those young bloods out there are just in it for the sex. That is true. But somewhere along the way, that changes for a man. Nobody warns you that when you find your person, you settle in, and things get serious, you could find yourself with a man who’d much rather watch cute dog videos on YouTube than acknowledge the fact that you’re trying to get some foreplay going.


I can’t tell you how common it is for a woman’s sex drive to just increase as she gets further into a relationship and for the man’s sex drive to decrease. What a hilariously cruel joke. All that time spent finding a man we trust and love to release all our sexual urges onto and…he’s asleep. Here’s my theory on why a man’s sex drive dips and a woman’s rises in a relationship.


Emotional connection turns us on

Emotional connection is what turns a woman on. That’s the reason we can’t walk in the door and have sex with a partner if we haven’t spoken to him all day. We need to exchange stories, catch up, and connect. When we’re in a relationship, that emotional connection grows stronger every day, and we can access it pretty quickly, so we’re rearing to go.

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