Subtly Sexist Things “Woke” Men Still Do
I’m surprised at some of the behaviors I still witness from young men living in this world towards women. I think the revelation of the #MeToo movement was just the thing that pushed decades of female oppression over the edge. But, women have been letting it be known, in small bursts—and sometimes large leaps—for quite some time now that there are certain behaviors we are not okay with. And, I think since the information has come to light in such infrequent, sudden, and spontaneous bursts, men have opened their eyes at a similar awkward and delayed pace.
There seem to be different groups of progressive men—let’s say different levels of wokeness. There are the men who clearly and rather blatantly still do not respect women, and don’t have any issue hiding it. The ones who still suggest that women should “stick to their roles” as mothers and wives. Then there are the men who are coming around to the understanding that maybe they need to adjust their ways, but we still have to remind them not to call their female interns “doll” or suggest it’s a moody female coworker’s time of the month. We must explain to them why it’s not okay, but they’re open to admitting they are wrong.
But then, there is this difficult group of men. The ones who feel quite certain they are woke—the ones who even consider themselves allies—and who, perhaps because of their youth and generation, cannot possibly conceive of the fact that maybe they hold onto misogynistic tendencies. They think that being millennials perhaps protects them from accusations of misogyny. Because their peers are so progressive, they think it just rubs off on them, but not so. Here are things “woke” men still do to their female coworkers.
Point out how woke they are
First, sometimes men my age will handle a situation with a female colleague well but then, they’ll ruin it by pointing out what a good job they did. They’ll handle an entire work-drinks meeting perfectly professionally, and at the very end, when I thank them for meeting with me, they’ll say, “See, and I didn’t even hit on you. Points for that, right?”