MadameNoire Featured Video

Happy girl friends walking on city street

Source: mixetto / Getty


With a new decade on the horizon, it’s a great time to reflect on all that we have learned about life and love over the years. Your 20s are a time of exploration, and when it comes to lessons of love, all of us have had experiences that have helped shaped our views on matters of the heart. I asked ten women to reflect on what they learned about love in their twenties.



Love in my 20’s encompassed a lot pseudo-love; situationships finessed to appease convenient needs.  I believed if you stuck around, I could change you. Only if I suppress enough of me and my emotion. It was a reoccurring theme.  Attracted to emotionally unavailable people, do the dance for a few months, disconnect, and then heartbreak. Sometimes, I even went back well after the expiration date.  It took some time to settle that disappointment when it feels and looks a lot like heartbreak. However, realizing I broke my own heart was my biggest lesson learned. Too many times I ignored my instinct, hoping that some other power would prove me wrong knowing I knew better.  Love in my 20’s had me convinced, that I cared too much and so emotional. I was limited in my thinking. Caring and loving the wrong people will have you convinced that [you] are the problem, especially when conflict arises. Love in my 20’s wasn’t all bad though. It set the stage to really do the work on Me.  That goes beyond reading self-help books. It took therapy. It took getting to the root of who I am and in love and understanding. Love in my 20’s was the benefactor of how I choose to love in my 30s. Vulnerable and open.

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN