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codependency no more

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So you identified that you have a codependency problem, and you decided to do something about it. You went to therapy. You’ve been on a long hiatus from dating. That’s good—very good. So many people do not have the strength to admit they have a problem and then do something about it. So you should feel really proud about that. Now, here comes yet another tough part (I know, it’s one thing after another): you have to go back into the dating world at some point. Having true control over a problem doesn’t mean completely removing yourself from temptation but rather being able to be around temptation, and resist it. Much like alcoholics eventually go to birthday dinners at restaurants with bars and just order a water, you need to go back out into the dating world and just take things slowly. Here are tips for establishing boundaries when you’re post-codependency recovery.


Tell new people

I know I keep comparing codependency to alcoholism but it really bares many resemblances. And, just the way a recovered alcoholic must tell people in her life, “I cannot have alcohol,” someone recovering from codependency issues should tell dates, “I have struggled with these issues and I’m working on them, so it’s important to me we take things slowly.”

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