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I’ve often been told that I’m selfish because I am not going to have kids. I’m always shocked by the accusation. What did I take from anyone? I’m just living my life and not creating a new one. In what way did I rob someone of something? I am not taking life from a child—there is no child. It’s a hypothetical being. A dream. A thought. Hypothetical children don’t have feelings and aren’t mad that I’m not having them. Am I taking something from my accuser in some way? Did this friend or family member’s life or joy depend on me having a kid? I really don’t think so. So, why then am I called selfish? The funny thing is that, in my opinion, choosing not to procreate is the opposite of selfish in many ways. I’m not saying that having a child is inherently selfish but, not having one is, without question, the opposite of selfish.
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I can’t neglect someone who isn’t there
First and foremost, when people call me selfish, they usually say something like, “You only care about yourself.” Well, first off, that’s not true—there are many people I care about—but second off, as that pertains to parenting, why would that really matter since I don’t have a child? If I had a child, and then only cared for myself, that would be selfish. But, again, there’s no kid here.
