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If I were to name one thing that has kept me in a happy relationship for nearly seven years now it’s this: giving each other space. My partner and I feel very emotionally close, and we make a point to spend plenty of time together, but there are also many intentional periods of space. We’re not a couple who spends every evening after work together in front of the couch, mindlessly eating and watching TV. We spend most weeknights off doing our own thing, but at least once a week have a dedicated date night when there’s no TV, and we focus on the conversation. We’re not even a couple that spends every holiday together—sometimes we can’t agree on Fourth of July plans—but we make sure to spend the important, more emotionally significant ones (like birthdays and New Year’s Eve) together. I feel at once very free, but also very close to my partner. Here is why giving each other space is the key to a lasting relationship.
Nobody can be on all of the time
No matter how comfortable you are with your partner, the moment somebody else is in the room, your brain feels pressure to be on. You want to acknowledge the other person and interact. It feels like you should. The simple presence of another human is taxing on our brains, especially since we’re on for so much of our days at work.
