Signs You’re Only Marrying Him Because You’re Tired Of Dating
Dating can become exhausting. We’ve all reached a breaking point with it when we just needed to take a break. All of those first date questions, the awkward goodnight kisses/side hugs, the high hopes, and shattered expectations. It can really drain a person. Being single for years (or decades) and trying hard to find the one can leave people feeling so tired that they give up on the idea of the one and just marry the next one who comes along. That’s one scenario when dating gets exhausting. There’s also the scenario in which someone actually has multiple long-term relationships that get really close to marriage. They live with their partners, adopt pets with them, look into buying real estate together, and possibly even get engaged…and disengaged. There is only so much of that type of disappointment a person can take. It’s no wonder many people do just settle for whomever comes along when they’re just fed up with it all. But, that’s only a brief solution that will actually cause its own larger problem later. Here are signs you’re settling for this guy because you’re just tired of dating.
You’re getting married very quickly
You’re getting married rather rapidly, and it’s not really like you to rush into things. You usually are quite methodical, take your time, and listen to your intuition. But this time, you’re engaged before many people even knew you’d met someone new.
You dread the thought of one more breakup
When you think about going through one more breakup, your brain short circuits. You feel nauseous. You refuse to do it. You’ve been through it all, the painful packing up boxes and crashing on a friend’s couch while finding a new place. The notifying everybody that it’s over. The tears. You just won’t do it again no matter what.
You like relating to settled women
You want so badly to be in the married club. You listen to women joking about married life, taking care of their hubbies, domestic life and so on. You want to join in on that! You want them to see you as their peers. You don’t want to be in the singles club anymore, listening to stories of hookups and first dates.
You want to dive into couples’ life
You’re very eager to join the couples’ life, too. There are all sorts of clubs and activities made for married couples, and you’ve already signed yourself and your partner up for each and every one of them. You seem more focused on the lifestyle that comes with marriage than the person you are marrying.
You don’t want much alone time
You don’t crave alone time with your partner. You’ll gladly choose social events, out, with other people over a night in with him. And, you seem to need rather exciting and luxurious events to feel happy with him. Could it be that you’re running from the fact that he, alone, does not excite you?
You love how happy it makes your parents
You’ve always wanted to make your parents happy—a fatal flaw—and you love the looks on their faces when they get to tell people you’re getting married. You also love the idea of having them off your back about your love life.
You recently had your heart torn to shreds
You rather recently had the worst breakup of your life. Friends and family wondered if you’d ever recovered. Your mom feared you’d need to move back home, if not be institutionalized and medicated. People were really worried about you. And now, suddenly, here you are, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed with a ring on it.
Looking at lusting couples hurts
You scoff at couples who are obviously crazy about each other. You call them young or naïve. You say it won’t last. Your subconscious must scorn such couples as a way of protecting itself from the reality that you don’t feel that way about your fiancé.
You’re trying to change him
You’re trying to mold him into your perfect husband. You weren’t able to find your perfect husband so you’ll just make him. You’re slowly asking him to change who he spends time with, how he dresses, and even what he does for a living.
Or you’re changing for him
Or it is you who is changing for him. He has a life full of married couples who seem to have pristine lives. So you’re buying the clothes and furniture they have. You’re joining their gym. You weren’t pleased with the life you’d built for yourself so you’re just mimicking somebody else’s.
You planned your wedding before meeting him
You’ve actually had your wedding planned for years. The second he proposed (or you, um, made him propose) you said, “Great! Here’s what we’ll do” and broke out your big book of wedding plans. You’d already reserved the venue.
You broke off another engagement recently
You recently broke off another engagement, or were left at the altar. It’s not really normal someone would be engaged to someone new within 18 months of breaking off another engagement. But, perhaps you’re just hoping to pick up right where you left off so as to not waste any more time.
He’s pre-approved by the group
Really, you’re the last two single people in a big group of married people. Everyone wants you two to get together. Your friends already approve of him. It just seems ideal on paper.
You focus on his fatherhood traits
You’d really like to have a baby in the near future and when you talk about the things you love about this man, they all have to do with what kind of father he’d make—not what kind of partner he’d make.
You refuse to consider any of this
You also find this entire post distasteful. You’ve read it with one eye closed. It’s made you feel angry and nauseous and resentful, all at the same time. It certainly stirred up something.