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marriage material man

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I remember in that one episode of “Sex and the City” when Charlotte refers to a man as having his “light on.” It was her way of saying he was eagerly ready to get married. Almost in a way a taxi turns its light on when it’s ready for customers, a man turns his light on when he’s ready for marriage. And some would argue that if you meet a man before his light is on, it simply won’t work. You won’t be the one to turn it on. You can search all over that damn taxi and you won’t find the switch for that light. It’s either on, or it isn’t. I guess as an optimist I like to think that people turn their light on specifically for the right person, and wouldn’t just let their soul mate slip away all because they “weren’t ready.” Regardless of which side of that issue you fall on, I do think that it is very clear when a man’s light is on. Regardless of who turned it on. When I was single and dating around, it was very clear to me which men hoped to be married within two years and which ones…didn’t. Here are signs your date wants to get married ASAP.


All of his friends are married

It’s not just that all of his friends are married, but also that he is talking about it incessantly. He’s talking about all of the weddings he’s been to, how gorgeous they were, how cute the little dog that acted as the ring bearer was, and how heart-touching the vows were. That’s a lot of wedding talk for a straight man who isn’t a wedding planner.


And all of his siblings are married

If he comes from a big family and all of his siblings and cousins are married, and he talks about that a lot, he probably really wants to tie the knot. He wants to join the married club. He no longer wants to be the one single one at family reunions and major holidays. He wants to contribute to the overall growing legacy of his family.


He shows you other people’s kids

He spends a good deal of the date showing you photos of other peoples’ kids. That means this man has found his desire to be a father and if he’s found that, he’s probably found his desire to get married. I haven’t noticed as many men interested in single parenthood as women.


He’s added you to the group email thread

You wake up the next day and you’ve been added to a massive group email thread with your date and all of his married friends. In this thread, they plan things like hiking trips, booze cruises, weekend getaways, softball games…he’s subtly added you as his plus to one to all of these events by adding you to the email thread.


He says he’s “Over the single scene”

He speaks about the single scene with something between boredom, sadness, and disdain. And he talks about single guys, out on the prowl, trying to pick up women at bars with total disgust. He is so not that—he says.


His place is “better for two people”

When he talks about his apartment, he makes several mentions of it being better suited for two people. It has his and her sinks. It has a big, gorgeous kitchen great for making big meals. The apartment complex even has a little dog park, and he’s always wanted a dog, but feels he’d be better off sharing that responsibility “with another person.” Mmmhmmm.


Actually, he takes you house hunting

He actually asks if you’d like to go check out a house he’s considering buying, while you’re on this date. It’s right around the corner, as a matter of fact. So you go and man is that house ready for a family. You know this man isn’t trying to move into a four-bedroom house with a yard, in a good school district, by himself. And he really seems to want a woman’s opinion on it.


He says his parents would love you

He takes the opportunity to mention his parents several times, and how much they would like you. If you bring up an interest of yours, he mentions his mom loves that too, and that you too should hang out some time.


You can do no wrong in his eyes

Throughout the date, you do or say things you can tell bump him—things he perhaps doesn’t agree with—and then you see him just as quickly forgive it, and even offer an excuse for you. In other words, he just won’t allow any sort of conflict to occur. He needs this date to go well. He doesn’t want to go on any more first dates (he has said as much).


He hit a career milestone

Often, when men hit a career milestone, like having their company finally turn a profit or being made partner at a company, they feel ready to have a family. Men tend to want financial stability before getting married, but once they get it, they can feel ready to marry right away.


He wants to be involved in your career

He takes a great interest in your career, really wanting to delve into a discussion about how you’ll make that presentation on Monday or how you’ll handle that conversation with your boss. You were just casually mentioning it, but he wants to do some career coaching right now. He may already be envisioning you as a life partner, and he wants his life partner to do well.


He wants to be involved in your social life

He wants to go to your friend’s play. He wants the address of your friend’s soap store—he’s going to buy his mom a gift there. He want to connect your friend to someone he knows as a professional contact. He’s already trying to immerse himself in your friends’ group as if they are his own friends.


All of his hobbies are for couples

Most of his hobbies are better suited for pairs. He isn’t, for example, really into writing poetry or building model ships. He likes to go ice skating, go to concerts, go wine tasting…those are couples activities.


He says, “I’m looking for something serious”

So, here’s the deal: most individuals who go on dates are looking for something serious eventually. But when a man makes a point to say those words out loud, it’s because he’s looking for something serious now.


He’s already talking about the far future

He’s mentioned a trip his friends take to the mountains each year, saying you should come along. That trip is in…eight months. He’s mentioned a friend who will be visiting from out of town whom you’d really like—that friend is visiting in half a year.

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