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black marriage and family

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React to this how you will but, I see a lot of couples getting married in which the man is completely stable and established in his career, and the woman is still figuring it out. That’s not a comment on how long it takes men versus women to get established: that’s a comment on when men versus women are comfortable getting married. Men struggle with…multitasking. Women are phenomenal at it. We can plan a wedding and figure out our careers at the same time. We also know that our relationships—and our marriages—should be able to survive all sorts of shifts and changes. To need the other areas of our lives to be totally stable, all so we can enjoy celebrating out union and getting married, is silly. We can enjoy getting married, and taking our romantic relationship to that next level even if other parts of our lives are uncertain. Not men—they want to do one thing at a time. Namely, they want to plant their roots, financially, and then get married. Here’s why men want to be financially stable before marriage. (It’s sweet, actually).

black marriage and family

Source: Peter Dazeley / Getty

Pride over paying for the wedding

Even if your parents say they’ll pay for the wedding, or his parents say they’ll pay for the wedding, it’s just hard for a man to take a ton of money from another adult. Some men don’t want to get married until they can afford to finance the wedding themselves.

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