#IMadeTheChoice: 4 Black Women Share Their Abortion Stories

Source: iOne Creative Services / iOne Creative Services

Name: Anita

Age: 67

“There was a time that I was very conflicted after the fact of termination and it messed with me emotionally and spiritually but as the years progressed I have learned to forgive myself.”

I was 20-years-old when I made the decision to terminate the pregnancy. I had recently ended a four-year relationship that I was very much in love with at the time. This was in the early 70’s and the breakup was complicated due to him fathering a child with someone else. The abortion took place in a tenement residence in Harlem by a woman who was a nurse who helped girls/women who were “in trouble.”

Her place was clean and I remember her disposition was one of empathy and no judgment. It took place in one of the bedrooms as she prepared for the procedure which did not involve surgical instruments. What was used was a hot water bottle (back in the day women would use this for feminine hygiene known as a douche).

I remember the smell of Lysol or some other form of disinfectant with very warm water, which was inserted, into my vagina area. It has been awhile since I relived this experience and it is one that stays with me [which] sometimes can be triggered by seeing a mother with her child or like now with people trying to rescind a woman’s right to terminate a pregnancy.

There was a time that I was very conflicted after the fact of termination and it messed with me emotionally and spiritually but as the years progressed I have learned to forgive myself. This has been a little hard as I reach back looking the rear-view window of my mind but what a woman does with her body is between her and God.