From the outside looking in, we probably believe that we know all the ins and outs as to why Carmelo and La La Anthony‘s marriage hit the skids back in 2017. There were reports of infidelity on his part, as well as the possibility that he fathered a child outside of their marriage (which he’s never confirmed or denied). But according to La La, things were rough even before then as she struggled not to be solely seen as his wife.
While speaking alongside Gabrielle Union at a National Basketball Wives Association Summit last month, the 39-year-old wife, mother of one, actress, author, designer and a whole host of other things, opened up about how being known as a “basketball wife” caused her to rebel somewhat in her marriage.
“For many years, I personally fought against the term basketball wife,” she said, according to InStyle. “I was so focused on having my own and not being known as someone married to a basketball player. And to be honest with you, my marriage really suffered because of that.”
The two have since reconciled, doing so last year, and to be able to do so, La La said that she had to have a change of mindset when it came to that “basketball wife” label (among other work that needed to be done).
“I’m so proud to uplift my husband and not feel as though I’m sacrificing myself by doing so,” she said.
“I’m so sorry I had those judgments about basketball wives,” she added. “I’m continuing to grow and understand how much we need each other, and there are things we go through that only other basketball wives would understand.”
La La isn’t alone in realizing that while there is more to a woman than being the wife of an athlete, being seen as one isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In early 2018, Ayesha Curry, wife of Golden State Warriors star Steph and a mogul in the making said that she wouldn’t ever call herself a “basketball wife.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever call myself that,” she said. “I mean, I don’t think my husband would call himself ‘chef’s wife.'”
She would later clear up her statement by saying she is fine with the label, as she has many, but it doesn’t fully define who she is, of course.
“While it is a part of who I am, it does not define me,” she said. “I think it’s important to clarify. There are so many layers to the modern day woman!”