I’ve already written on the fact that the love of my life—as is or will be the love of your life—is really just a hybrid of the best traits of all my exes, minus the bad stuff. But there’s one trait that I didn’t mention because, well, it’s kind of true of all men and not just my romantic partners: the way he behaves at restaurants. Every man I’ve ever had a relationship with or even just gone on one date with has exhibited rather similar habits in restaurants. I don’t feel like how to behave at restaurants makes it into the general conversation when men talk, but there must be other elements of male culture that wind up affecting this part of a man’s life. Like clockwork, I can usually predict which of my restaurant behaviors will annoy a man, and how he’ll respond to certain situations. Here is how men versus women behave in restaurants.
Women ask questions
“Is there a lot of sauce on this?” “Do you think I’d like this?” “What is better—the fish or the pasta?” We’ll start a dialogue with our server about the menu. This typically makes our dates roll their eyes and even apologize to the server for our constant questioning.